Hayley makes Jeff get a friend to add some mystery to their relationship but gets more mystery than she bargained for. Francine attempts to grow the world's longest fingernails.
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Francine insists that Steve let her help with his school project, Stan finally fixes that shingle, and the rest of the family goes on a quest to return Gallagher's mallet.
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Congress has cut the CIA torture budget in favor of helping kids learn to read. The CIA must figure out a way to raise $1 million to fund their torture program. Stan wants to prove he's an idea man so he struggles to figure it out.
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Hayley's boyfriend breaks up with her. After going on a rampage through the mall, Hayley falls for Stan's body double from the CIA. Things take a bizarre twist when the double begins hitting on Francine.
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Steve plots revenge against Lisa Silver and the cool kids after Debbie loses her bid to become student council president. But when the cool kids stage a counterattack, will Steve and his friends survive?
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Roger discovers one of his personas has taken on a life of his own. Back at home, the Smith family becomes addicted to the 1970s electronic game Simon.
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The Smiths' plans to celebrate Roger's 1,600th birthday are sidetracked when Steve announces he's going through puberty. Ever fearful of the thought, Stan and Francine try to bypass the pains by having medicine injected into Steve's head.
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With Francine gone to visit her parents, Roger holds a Spring Break blowout at the Smith house. During the festivities, Stan falls for a Spring Break Buddy and Steve is on the verge of losing his virginity.
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