DVS Offerings

Monday, Nov 30
12:00 AM

Misinterpretation Agitation (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny's flirtatious sales pitch leaves a doctor-client smitten and the guys must pitch in to help her deal with him, while, Bernadette and Amy debate whether female scientists ought to play the sexuality card.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Reclusive Potential, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A brilliant but reclusive scientist, Doctor Wolcott, invites Sheldon to his cabin in the middle of nowhere, and Leonard, Raj and Howard go along for the trip. Penny and Bernadette improvise after Amy doesn't like the tame bachelorette party they planned for her.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

D & D Vortex, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The gang finds out Wil Wheaton hosts a celebrity Dungeons and Dragons game involving William Shatner, Joe Manganiello, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kevin Smith. Deception and betrayal are the path to make it to the one open seat.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

In Case of Emergency (DVS)

Flight Attendant, The

When flight attendant Cassie Bowden meets handsome, beguiling passenger Alex Sokolov on the way to Bangkok, she decides to spend an extravagant, very drunk night with him. But when she wakes up the next morning beside a dead body - and with no memory of what happened - Cassie fights to keep her wits about her long enough to make it back to New York, where more trouble looms.

TV-MA

12:00 PM

One with All the Poker, The (DVS)

Friends

The women lose money in a poker game with the men. After getting advice from a champion card player, they demand a rematch.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

One with the Baby Shower, The (DVS)

Friends

During her baby shower, Rachel realizes she is unprepared to be a mother and accepts her mother's offer to move in to help with the child.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One with Rachel's Crush, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Joey's Dirty Day, The (DVS)

Friends

Charlton Heston finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.

TV-14

2:00 PM

One with All the Rugby, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily with painful results.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Fake Party, The (DVS)

Friends

Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Free Porn, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Phoebe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.

TV-14

3:30 PM

One with Rachel's New Dress, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

Of Ice and Men (DVS)

American Dad

Stan's competitive streak is unleashed when he and Francine start ice dancing together. Stan dumps Francine to compete with Roger. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends get a mail order Russian bride.

TV-14

4:30 PM

Lincoln Lover (DVS)

American Dad

Greg introduces Stan to the Langley Falls Log Cabin Republicans. Only after Stan is taken with their fabulous ways does he realize that it's a gay group. To gain further acceptance into this wonderful group, Stan decides to become gay. Meanwhile, Terry is furious to discover Greg is a Republican.

TV-14

5:00 PM

Irregarding Steve (DVS)

American Dad

When Steve realizes he's smarter than Stan, he throws it in Stan's face and moves with Roger to New York City to become writers. There, they quickly realize they're short on street smarts when they fall in with the pretentious hairdresser, Mr. Beauregard. Meanwhile, we catch a glimpse of the lives of the squirrels living in the Smith's backyard.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Bush Comes to Dinner (DVS)

American Dad

President Bush comes to dinner when Stan wins an essay-writing contest. Hayley is determined to bring down the presidency after Roger accidentally gets Bush drunk. Meanwhile, Roger thinks he's found Osama bin Laden.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Wharf Horse (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Motivated by the promise of a new beachside burger joint, Bob conspires with Felix to convince Mr. Fischoeder to sell Wonder Wharf. Meanwhile, Tina protests the destruction of the wharf's carousel by chaining herself to it.

TV-14

6:30 PM

World Wharf II: The Wharfening (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

It's Linda and the kids to the rescue when Felix takes desperate measures, and puts Bob and Mr. Fischoeder in danger.

TV-14

7:00 PM

Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When Gene's Die Hard-inspired musical doesn't get picked for the school's fall performance, he decides to stage an underground show with the help of Louise. But Wagstaff Middle School families begin to feud when they learn Eugene has planned his show on the very same night as Courtney's school-sanctioned Working Girl-inspired musical featuring Tina.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

Friends with Burger-Fits (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Bob becomes Teddy's workout buddy after finding out his burgers contributed to Teddy's bad health. The two enroll in a stuntman boot camp where their friendship is put to the test. Meanwhile, the kids make an ice rink in the freezer with Linda running their underground ice-wrestling league.

TV-PG

8:00 PM

Best Burger (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Bob enters a burger-tasting contest, only to discover that his most distinguishing ingredient is missing! To help out their dad, the kids go on a mission to find the ever-so-important black garlic.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

Amish Guy (DVS)

Family Guy

While stranded in Amish country with her family, Meg falls for a cute Amish boy-leading to a feud between Peter and the boy's father.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Lottery Fever (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter blows his savings on lottery tickets and the family writes it off as one of his usual shenanigans until they end up millionaires. In true Griffin fashion, they can't handle the good fortune and struggle to stay grounded.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Stewie Goes for a Drive (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter befriends actor Ryan Reynolds until he discovers that Reynolds may be attracted to him, and Stewie leaves home after Brian figures out that he wrecked Brian's car.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Quagmire and Meg (DVS)

Family Guy

When Meg turns 18, Peter and Lois attempt to keep Quagmire from seducing their daughter.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Thanksgiving (DVS)

Family Guy

Joe's son, who was reported missing in Iraq, suddenly and unexpectedly appears during Thanksgiving dinner, but the story of his disappearance doesn't add up.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Cool Hand Peter (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter and the guys take a stand against their wives and flee to the Deep South on a road trip. On the way there, the men earn a one-way ticket to jail. But when they decide to make a run for it, Joe's quick planning and Peter's seductive ways help them escape. Meanwhile, Lois spends some quality time with the girls and they engage in childish antics.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Blind Side, The (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little crazy when she says that she hates dogs. Meanwhile, the Griffin family installs a new staircase in their home when Peter keeps falling on the old one and decides to live upstairs full-time.

TV-14

Tuesday, Dec 1
12:00 AM

Grumpy Old Man (DVS)

Family Guy

After Lois's father, Carter, falls asleep while driving, the Griffins realize he is getting close to retirement, and visit retirement communities in Florida.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Back to the Pilot (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian and Stewie travel back in time to January 31, 1999 and witness the events that took place in the very first episode of Family Guy, "Death Has a Shadow".

TV-14

1:00 AM

Exquisite Corpses (DVS)

American Dad

Jeff, Francine and Roger decide to team up and start their own bus tour business, with murderous results!

TV-14

1:30 AM

Trophy Wife, Trophy Life (DVS)

American Dad

After Stan is injured, Francine nurses him back to health and he becomes dependent to her. The family discovers Tuttle is a Korean reality show star.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Sniffing Accountant, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry, Kramer and Newman investigate their accountant's unexplained sniffle.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Bris, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A religious ceremony makes Jerry and Elaine apprehensive about being godparents.

TV-PG

4:00 AM

Lip Reader, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George enlists a lip-reader to learn why his girlfriend dumped him.

TV-PG

4:30 AM

Non-Fat Yogurt, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine suspect Kramer's yogurt shop is causing their weight gain.

TV-PG

5:00 AM

Barber, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry doesn't have the nerve to dump his regular barber.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Masseuse, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry can't get his masseuse girlfriend to give him a massage.

TV-PG

6:00 AM

And the Hoarder Culture (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline and Max walk into a hoarding nightmare and end up waist-deep in clutter when they take a job cleaning an apartment to make extra money. Plus, Max discovers Johnny has been keeping a secret from her.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Really Petty Cash (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Johnny's girlfriend, Cashandra has a devious plan in mind when she hires Max and Caroline to bake cupcakes for an art show featuring his work.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Reality Check (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline try to find Chestnut a job so the horse will have lodging and shelter for the winter. Meanwhile, Peach, the mother of the twins Max babysits, auditions for television reality show Real Housewives of TriBeCa.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Pop-Up Sale (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max's stove breaks, Caroline tries to return some expensive rings to Barney's department store, but discovers her surname is no longer an asset at the store where she used to get special treatment.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with All the Haste, The (DVS)

Friends

Drastic changes occur in Ross' relationship with Emily. Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with All the Wedding Dresses, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel reacts drastically to Ross' engagement. Chandler becomes exasperated by Joey's snoring.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Invitation, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and the engaged Ross reminisce separately about when they dated each other. The friends get invitations to Ross' wedding but not all of them are going.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Worst Best Man Ever, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey loses Ross' treasured wedding ring. Phoebe has extreme mood variations from her pregnancy.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with Ross's Wedding Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel stays home while the others go to England for Ross' wedding.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Ross's Wedding Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel frantically tries to get to London before Ross marries Emily. Ross' father clashes with Emily's.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One After Ross Says Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Will Emily forgive Ross before their honeymoon? Monica and Chandler agree to end their new relationship.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with All the Kissing, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross' new wife won't speak to him. Rachel appoints Monica her advisor in romance. Phoebe feels neglected.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One-Hundredth, The (DVS)

Friends

While Phoebe delivers triplets, Joey experiences his own pain. Monica plans a date with a male nurse to spite Chandler.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One Where Phoebe Hates PBS, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Ross might finally reconcile with Emily but he must make a tough decision.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with the Kips, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross tells Rachel that he cannot be around her once Emily comes to New York. Chandler and Monica try to have a romantic weekend.

TV-14

6:30 PM

One with the Yeti, The (DVS)

Friends

Will Ross obey Emily and move away from his friends? Monica and Rachel meet a monster.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

American Dream Factory (DVS)

American Dad

Stan feels like he's not climbing the ladder fast enough at work, so he turns to his lifelong ambition of making festive teddy bears. However, when he realizes that making a quick profit takes a lot of work, he resorts to using illegal aliens as cheap labor.

TV-14

7:30 PM

A.T. the Abusive Terrestrial (DVS)

American Dad

Feeling shunned by Steve, Roger befriends a new boy, Henry. Their honeymoon is short lived as Henry starts abusing Roger. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine hijack the Pibbmobile in an effort to save the fledgling soft drink from going off the market forever.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Four Little Words (DVS)

American Dad

Stan goes to great lengths to never, ever end up in a situation ending with Francine telling him, "I told you so." She lets him hook his boss Bullock up with her friend, but when Bullock accidentally kills the woman, Stan frames Francine so she'll stop asking questions.

TV-14

8:30 PM

When Stan Loves a Woman (DVS)

American Dad

Stan gets jealous when he discovers how promiscuous Francine was in the past. He decides the only way to even the score is to divorce Francine and sow some wild oats of his own. Meanwhile, Steve gets addicted to an energy drink.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Jungle Love (DVS)

Family Guy

Chris runs away to South America to avoid being hazed as part of a high-school ritual.

TV-14

9:30 PM

PTV (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter broadcasts a television station out of the Griffin home.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Mystery Date Observation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Leonard, Penny and Bernadette learn that Amy is going out on a dinner date, the trio set out to spy on her and the guy. Meanwhile, Sheldon recruits Raj and Howard to find a woman for him.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Earworm Reverberation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

God only knows what song is constantly playing in Sheldon's head, but it reminds him of Amy and leads to a surprising revelation. Meanwhile, she is back in the dating game.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Opening Night Excitation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Prof. Proton visits Sheldon in a dream and gives him Obi-Wan Kenobi-like advice about whether to go see the new "Star Wars" film or spend the time with newly reunited girlfriend Amy on her birthday.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Sales Call Sublimation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny entices Leonard to meet with a psychiatrist and the results are surprising; Stuart moves out of the Wolowitz house and Howard and Bernadette find themselves at a loss.

TV-PG

Wednesday, Dec 2
12:00 AM

Empathy Optimization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Dealing with an under-the-weather Sheldon is so draining for Penny, Leonard, and the gang, that they decide to treat themselves to a Sheldon-less weekend.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Meemaw Materialization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon's grandmother, aka Meemaw, visits and there's friction between her and Amy, which intensifies after the elderly woman blurts out a secret about Sheldon.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Valentino Submergence, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and Amy celebrate Valentine's Day with an episode of Fun With Flags; Leonard and Penny feel the pangs of aging; Howard and Bernadette are surprised by what they find in their hot tub.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

3:00 AM

It Messes With Your Head! (DVS)

Misery Index, The

What does Murr look like with a full head of hair, what's it like to have 250 orgasms in a single day, and who likes to use handcuffs in the bedroom? Find out as our contestants battle for 30k in this kinky episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Pilot (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake Peralta, a talented but carefree detective, and his colleagues meet their new captain, Ray Holt, a tightly wound man determined to improve the dysfunctional 99th precinct.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Tagger, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake thinks the graffiti case he's investigating is below him until he discovers the culprit is the deputy commissioner's son. Gina's psychic friend gets under Charles's skin.

TV-14

5:00 AM

48 Hours (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake's co-workers help him find evidence to keep a suspect he arrested in custody. Gina and Rosa have a pie contest. Holt helps Terry look better to his in-laws.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Vulture, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake vows to get revenge when a detective from Special Crimes takes over his nearly solved murder case. Captain Holt and Gina help Terry.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Secret Ingredient (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In the midst of her new obsession with couponing, Caroline discovers the secret ingredient to Max's cupcakes.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Upstairs Neighbor (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline are suspicious of the new upstairs neighbor, Sophie, who moves in after the old tenant dies.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Blind Spot (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline must prove their cleaning skills to upstairs neighbor Sophie in order to be hired as maids for her cleaning business.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Broken Hearts (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

It's Valentine's Day and Max shows her softer side when Earl has a heart attack and ends up in the hospital after seeing Sophie all dressed up. Meanwhile, Caroline attempts to rekindle an old flame of hers.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One Where Ross Moves In, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey and Chandler regret letting Ross move in with them. Rachel schemes to get her new neighbor to ask her on a date.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Thanksgiving Flashbacks, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends find out about Monica's worst Thanksgiving ever.

TV-14

2:00 PM

One with Ross' Sandwich, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey becomes exasperated from hiding Chandler and Monica's secret. Ross gets in trouble when he expresses his rage.

TV-14

2:30 PM

One with the Inappropriate Sister, The (DVS)

Friends

A bored Ross creates havoc in Joey and Chandler's lives. Rachel is disturbed by her date's inappropriate relationship with his sister.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with All the Resolutions, The (DVS)

Friends

On New Year's Eve, the friends make resolutions for the coming year but keeping them proves difficult.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Chandler's Work Laugh, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's behavior toward his boss annoys Monica. Ross' latest romance astounds everyone.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with Joey's Bag, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe meets another long-lost relative. Joey wears a shoulder bag.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Everybody Finds Out, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes less of a secret. Ross must prove to his boss that he's sane in order to return to work.

TV-14

5:00 PM

One with the Girl Who Hits Joey, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with the Cop, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey wonders if he is in love with Monica. Phoebe impersonates a police officer.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel interviews for a great job but she may get it for the wrong reason. Monica competes to have a better relationship than Phoebe's.

TV-14

6:30 PM

One Where Rachel Smokes, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel submits to peer pressure at work. Joey and Ross' son audition for the same commercial but only one can get the part.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

I Can't Stan You (DVS)

American Dad

Stan drives himself crazy worrying about his neighbors' opinion of him. Roger and Steve become con artists.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Magnificent Steven, The (DVS)

American Dad

Stan takes Steve and his friends on a cattle drive through Langley Falls in an effort to turn them into men. But when Stan eats beef tainted with mad cow disease, it's up to the boys to save the day. Meanwhile, Roger pits Francine and Hayley against each other for his own amusement.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Joint Custody (DVS)

American Dad

Stan tries to get an unsuspecting Jeff Fischer out of his life for good by taking him on a road trip to Florida, where there is a warrant out for Jeff's arrest. Meanwhile, Roger wants to turn Jeff in himself so he can claim the reward money. Francine, Hayley, and Steve want to intervene as Stan and Roger battle it out on the road, but they are stranded at the Smith house until they can find Francine's car keys.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Vacation Goo, The (DVS)

American Dad

The Smiths find out that their outstanding family vacations have only been experiences in virtual reality. Stan vows to redeem himself by taking the family on a cruise, but when they are stranded on a remote island, things get out of hand. Meanwhile, Roger goes from cruise ship singer to a dancer in a seedy gentlemen's club.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Brian Goes Back to College (DVS)

Family Guy

After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian gets a job at The New Yorker.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Courtship of Stewie's Father, The (DVS)

Family Guy

Stewie steps up his efforts to kill Lois, who orders Peter to spend more time with him.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Cigar Store Indian, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's gift to Elaine offends Elaine's friend.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Positive Negative Reaction, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The gang learns Bernadette is pregnant and celebrate by singing karaoke. Meanwhile, Wolowitz freaks out over the pregnancy announcement and becomes convinced he must make more money to provide for the baby.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Celebration Experimentation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and the gang celebrate his birthday and he's surprised by a special guest.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Application Deterioration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Howard reconsiders entering into a legal partnership with Leonard and Sheldon regarding the patent for the infinite persistence gyroscope. Also, the women offer Raj dating advice after Emily reaches out to him following their breakup.

TV-PG

Thursday, Dec 3
12:00 AM

Solder Excursion Diversion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon shocks Amy with a startling revelation after she buys him a new laptop. Meanwhile, Raj throws Leonard and Howard under the bus after they lie to their wives and sneak off to an early screening of a movie.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Big Bear Precipitation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon shares a secret about Leonard when the two go on a weekend trip with Penny and Amy; Raj goes all out with pregnancy gifts.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Viewing Party Combustion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

During a group get-together, a minor argument between Sheldon and Leonard turns into a heated debate, leaving the rest of the gang to choose sides.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Marine Biologist, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George poses as a marine biologist.

TV-PG

4:00 AM

LAXmas (DVS)

New Girl

As the gang prepares to depart for the holidays, they quickly find they may be home alone when they are all trapped at the airport due to a storm. The longer their flights are delayed the more they begin to question their holiday plans especially Jess, who is flying to England to meet Ryan's parents, and Coach, who is ditching his family in favor of a Hawaiian vacation.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Shark (DVS)

New Girl

After Winston graduates from the Police Academy, Nick and Coach worry about his safety especially when they meet his petite training officer. Meanwhile, Jess uses Schmidt to try and influence a councilwoman to stop the night construction taking place outside the loft.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Coming Out (DVS)

New Girl

Jess struggles not to show favoritism to Ryan now that they no longer need to hide their relationship, which leads to a disastrous class field trip. Meanwhile, Schmidt gets an ulcer but refuses to take time off work, forcing Nick to step in. And Winston becomes obsessed with the perceived powers of a crystal necklace he was given by his fellow officers.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Swuit (DVS)

New Girl

When the prototype for their new business venture - the "swuit," a suit made of sweatshirt material doesn't turn out as planned, Jess helps Schmidt and Nick brainstorm a new idea to pitch to famed QVC entrepreneur Lori Greiner. Meanwhile, Winston and Coach decide they will invest in Cece's future.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Kosher Cupcakes (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max tries to pass off her cupcakes as kosher when she and Caroline serve them at a boy's Bar Mitzvah.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the One Night Stands (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max joins Caroline on a trip to visit her father in prison.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Spring Break (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline take a vacation from their lives when they are asked to dog-sit at a couple's posh apartment.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Drug Money (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In an effort to raise money to help Caroline's father, Max convinces Caroline to partake in a clinical drug trial.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One Where Ross Can't Flirt, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross' flirting technique fails to impress a cute pizza-delivery woman. A surprise awaits Joey when he tells everyone about his big television appearance.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Ride Along, The (DVS)

Friends

The guys enjoy riding along with a police officer until a gunshot is heard. Rachel overhears a telephone message for Ross from his second ex-wife.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Ball, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's boyfriend wants her to move in with him. Ross and Joey involve Chandler and Monica in an obsessive game.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Joey's Big Break, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey's first major film role leads to an unexpected experience in Las Vegas. Phoebe can't remember why she hates Ross.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One in Vegas Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One in Vegas Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One After Vegas, The (DVS)

Friends

Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Ross Hugs Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica is bewildered by Rachel's reaction to a change in their living arrangement. Phoebe tries to make Ross confront his feelings for Rachel.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with Ross' Denial, The (DVS)

Friends

Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One Where Joey Loses His Insurance, The (DVS)

Friends

Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with Joey's Porsche, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One on the Last Night, The (DVS)

Friends

The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Meter Made (DVS)

American Dad

In order to be taken more seriously, Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all the power. Now he's getting the best tables at restaurants, pocketing quarters from meters, and impressing Francine with his prowess. But when Turlington from Parking Internal Affairs pays him a visit, Stan realizes crime and this lifestyle don't pay.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Dope and Faith (DVS)

American Dad

Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but the friend turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard, but the plan backfires. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to Hogwarts.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Big Trouble in Little Langley (DVS)

American Dad

Francine's Chinese adoptive parents drop in. Stan can't stand them and tries to find Francine's real parents, but when it becomes obvious they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle, Stan makes a detour and never introduces them to Francine.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Haylias (DVS)

American Dad

Stan, unhappy with the decisions Hayley is making for herself, decides to set her up with a proper husband. He gets her to go along by using her "activation word" which was ingrained in her during CIA summer camp visits when she was little. She listens to everything Stan says, but because it takes too long, reverts to a "mind clause" to kill her handler - Stan.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Fat Guy Strangler (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois learns she has a brother she has never met (Robert Downey Jr.), so she brings him home from a mental institution to live with her family.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Brian Sings and Swings (DVS)

Family Guy

A near-death experience lands Brian in the hospital but infuses him with a new passion for life.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Dinner Party, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

The gang shops for last-minute gifts for a dinner party.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Pie, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A date's refusal to eat pie obsesses Jerry. A mannequin resembles Elaine.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Fermentation Bifurcation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon stays behind to spend quality time with the pregnant Bernadette when the rest of the gang toddles off to a wine-tasting event where they run into Penny's former boyfriend, and Raj introduces his new girlfriend.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Line Substitution Solution, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Sheldon decides he'd rather go to a movie screening than hang out with Amy, he hires Stuart to spend the day with her. Meanwhile Leonard's mother visits, and Penny just can't seem to connect with her.

TV-PG

Friday, Dec 4
12:00 AM

Convergence Convergence, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the Season 9 finale, Leonard's recently divorced parents roll into town, as does Sheldon's holy-roller mother, and all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile, Raj and Howard are concerned when the government unexpectedly contacts them about their guidance system.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Conjugal Conjecture, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the Season 10 premiere, the gang deals with the awkward aftermath of an overnight liaison between Sheldon's mother and Leonard's father. Meanwhile, Penny's dysfunctional family is in town for the wedding, including her neurotic mom and drug dealer brother.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Military Miniaturization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The guys heads are in a spin when an Air Force bigwig approaches them about their revolutionary gyroscope invention; and Bernadette is upset with Penny after she accidentally leaks a secret to the mom-to-be's coworkers about her being pregnant.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Dependence Transcendence, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Howard and Leonard are putting in late nights at work and Sheldon is having trouble keeping up; Raj and a pregnant Bernadette spend a day together; and Penny and Amy take in a faculty party.

TV-PG

2:30 AM

Stand-In, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer is a stand-in on a soap opera; George wants to break up with a girlfriend.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Fire, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A kitchen fire makes George confront his cowardliness.

TV-PG

4:00 AM

Crawl, The (DVS)

New Girl

When a new bar opens in the neighborhood, it completes the final piece of the puzzle for Nick's epic Valentine's Day pub crawl. Meanwhile, Jess and Ryan drunkenly contemplate their future, Coach meets a new woman over and over again and Schmidt tries to fit into the world of politics.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Oregon (DVS)

New Girl

Jess takes a bumpy stroll down memory lane when she and the gang travel to her childhood home in Portland, Oregon, for her father's wedding. Meanwhile, with Ryan back in England, everyone is worried that he and Jess' relationship is nearing the end, but Jess is determined to make it work.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Spiderhunt (DVS)

New Girl

Schmidt is planning a midnight feast for Fawn at the loft when he spots a spider. Suddenly everyone's on lockdown as Schmidt's arachnophobia forces the group to go on a spider hunt. In the midst of this chaos, Winston inadvertently makes Jess think that Cece is in love with Nick.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Walk of Shame (DVS)

New Girl

After a night of partying at Bearclaw's, Jess and Cece make the proverbial walk of shame back to the loft and run into a familiar face. Meanwhile, Coach worries about bringing Nick and Winston around his sophisticated new girlfriend, May.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Messy Purse Smackdown (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline promises Earl that she will drop his tax return in the mail but when she learns that Max has never filed her taxes, she gets sidetracked trying to help Max.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Big Buttercream Breakthrough (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max's babysitting gig with Peach is in peril if the cupcakes she and Caroline deliver to Peach's socialite friend aren't perfect.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And Martha Stewart Have a Ball Part 1 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline use Caroline's invite to a Manhattan gala as a means to meet Martha Stewart and present their cupcake business.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And Martha Stewart Have a Ball Part 2 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline use Caroline's invite to a Manhattan gala as a means to meet Martha Stewart and present their cupcake business.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One Where Phoebe Runs, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Ross's Teeth, The (DVS)

Friends

The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One Where Ross Got High, The (DVS)

Friends

On Thanksgiving, Chandler tries to gain favor with Monica's parents but an old secret involving Ross causes problems. Undomestic Rachel's dessert proves intriguing.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Routine, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine. Ross and Monica resurrect their dorky high school dance routine for a television special.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Apothecary Table, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey finally dates Janine but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Joke, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with Rachel's Sister Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill, find independence but Jill flirting with Ross is not part of the plan. Monica won't admit that she is sick.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Chandler Can't Cry Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's sister Jill wants Ross but not for the reasons he thinks. Chandler astounds the others with his inability to express emotions. Is Phoebe starring in pornography?

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One That Could Have Been Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends fantasize Rachel and Ross are in respective loveless marriages. Monica is an overweight virgin. Poor Chandler works for television star Joey, and Phoebe is an overstressed stockbroker.

TV-14

5:30 PM

One That Could Have Been Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

In the speculative fantasy, Ross initiates romantic advances with his wife Carol; Chandler and Monica help each other overcome loneliness; Rachel learns the truth about her husband; and Phoebe sneaks out of the hospital.

TV-14

6:00 PM

One with Unagi, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler gets into trouble with his homemade gift for Monica. Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. Joey hires a look-alike.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One Where Ross Dates a Student, The (DVS)

Friends

When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living temporarily with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble where he teaches.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

42-Year-Old Virgin (DVS)

American Dad

While playing poker with the guys, Stan is exposed as a virgin, but not in the traditional way - he's never killed anyone. Roger and the guys help Stan bust his killing cherry.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Surro-Gate (DVS)

American Dad

When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. Although he pretends to be happy, when the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger pull a Howard Hughes and become reclusive after they think Klaus is out to get them.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Christmas Story, A (DVS)

Youngster Ralphie Parker spends most of his time dodging a bully and dreaming of his ideal Christmas gift, a Red Ryder air rifle. Frequently at odds with his cranky dad but comforted by his doting mother, Ralphie struggles to make it to Christmas Day with his glasses and his hopes intact.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

Tearjerker (DVS)

American Dad

Stan and the family are characters in a James Bond-style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Father, the Son and the Holy Fonz, The (DVS)

Family Guy

When Peter's dad visits the Griffins, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family.

TV-14

9:30 PM

I Take Thee, Quagmire (DVS)

Family Guy

When Peter goes on a television game show and wins a maid for a week, Quagmire becomes smitten with her and ends up popping the question.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Hot Tub Contamination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy and Sheldon's live-in relationship may be in the toilet after he accuses her of not following the bathroom schedule. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette's secret stay-cation is interrupted by interfering interlopers who are sneaking into their hot tub.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Christmas Story, A (DVS)

Youngster Ralphie Parker spends most of his time dodging a bully and dreaming of his ideal Christmas gift, a Red Ryder air rifle. Frequently at odds with his cranky dad but comforted by his doting mother, Ralphie struggles to make it to Christmas Day with his glasses and his hopes intact.

TV-PG

Saturday, Dec 5
2:00 AM

Blades of Glory (DVS)

Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It's an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men's sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship's helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport's governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy's) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Blades of Glory (DVS)

Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It's an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men's sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship's helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport's governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy's) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

TV-14

1:00 PM

Opposite, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George learns success lies in doing the opposite of what he would normally do.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

Raincoats Part 1, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires. George sells his dad's clothes.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

Blades of Glory (DVS)

Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It's an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men's sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship's helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport's governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy's) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Hamptons, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked during a weekend at the beach.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

5:00 PM

Blades of Glory (DVS)

Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It's an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men's sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship's helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport's governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy's) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Christmas Story, A (DVS)

Youngster Ralphie Parker spends most of his time dodging a bully and dreaming of his ideal Christmas gift, a Red Ryder air rifle. Frequently at odds with his cranky dad but comforted by his doting mother, Ralphie struggles to make it to Christmas Day with his glasses and his hopes intact.

TV-PG

8:00 PM

Wonder (DVS)

Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie Pullman becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to discover their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out. Based on the novel by R.J. Palacio.

TV-PG

9:00 PM

Christmas Story, A (DVS)

Youngster Ralphie Parker spends most of his time dodging a bully and dreaming of his ideal Christmas gift, a Red Ryder air rifle. Frequently at odds with his cranky dad but comforted by his doting mother, Ralphie struggles to make it to Christmas Day with his glasses and his hopes intact.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Jerry Maguire (DVS)

Jerry Maguire is a man who knows the score. As a top agent at Sports Management International, Jerry is unquestionably master of his universe. Trouble is, Jerry's mind, mouth and soul are usually on automatic pilot. He's good at friendship, but (as his numerous ex-girlfriends testify) bad at intimacy. Still, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Jerry that a sudden dose of failure can't cure. A week after spontaneously writing a stirring, visionary mission statement for SMI entitled "The Things We Think And Do Not Say: The Future of Our Business," he's unceremoniously fired. Stripped of his job and a good measure of his identity, the tenacious but hanging-by-a-thread Jerry is forced to start from scratch. He's joined on his journey to redemption by two unlikely allies: Rod Tidwell, a second-tier wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals; and Dorothy Boyd, a wistful 26-year-old single mother who departs her accountancy position with SMI for a very uncertain future with her new boss.

TV-14

Sunday, Dec 6
2:00 AM

Jerry Maguire (DVS)

Jerry Maguire is a man who knows the score. As a top agent at Sports Management International, Jerry is unquestionably master of his universe. Trouble is, Jerry's mind, mouth and soul are usually on automatic pilot. He's good at friendship, but (as his numerous ex-girlfriends testify) bad at intimacy. Still, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Jerry that a sudden dose of failure can't cure. A week after spontaneously writing a stirring, visionary mission statement for SMI entitled "The Things We Think And Do Not Say: The Future of Our Business," he's unceremoniously fired. Stripped of his job and a good measure of his identity, the tenacious but hanging-by-a-thread Jerry is forced to start from scratch. He's joined on his journey to redemption by two unlikely allies: Rod Tidwell, a second-tier wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals; and Dorothy Boyd, a wistful 26-year-old single mother who departs her accountancy position with SMI for a very uncertain future with her new boss.

TV-14

3:00 AM

It Messes With Your Head! (DVS)

Misery Index, The

What does Murr look like with a full head of hair, what's it like to have 250 orgasms in a single day, and who likes to use handcuffs in the bedroom? Find out as our contestants battle for 30k in this kinky episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Hidden Stash (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max joins Caroline on her visit to a white-collar prison to see her father, Martin Channing, and he encourages them to purchase a particular keepsake at the Channing estate auction.

TV-14

4:30 AM

And the Pearl Necklace (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline met Martha Stewart at a gala event and gave her one of their cupcakes to taste, they were thrilled to get a positive response! Now, Max and Caroline attempt to keep the faith that Martha Stewart will call and help support their cupcake business. Meanwhile, Caroline loses a lucky keepsake.

TV-14

6:00 AM

It Messes With Your Head! (DVS)

Misery Index, The

What does Murr look like with a full head of hair, what's it like to have 250 orgasms in a single day, and who likes to use handcuffs in the bedroom? Find out as our contestants battle for 30k in this kinky episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

6:30 AM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Hidden Stash (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max joins Caroline on her visit to a white-collar prison to see her father, Martin Channing, and he encourages them to purchase a particular keepsake at the Channing estate auction.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Pearl Necklace (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline met Martha Stewart at a gala event and gave her one of their cupcakes to taste, they were thrilled to get a positive response! Now, Max and Caroline attempt to keep the faith that Martha Stewart will call and help support their cupcake business. Meanwhile, Caroline loses a lucky keepsake.

TV-14

12:00 PM

Engagement, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

In an effort to grow up, George proposes marriage to former girlfriend Susan.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Postponement, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Feeling overwhelmed, George wants to postpone marrying Susan.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

Wink, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

An uncontrollable wink creates problems for George and Kramer.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

Paddington 2 (DVS)

Settled in with the Brown family, Paddington the bear is a popular member of the community who spreads joy and marmalade wherever he goes. One fine day, he spots a pop-up book in an antique shop -- the perfect present for his beloved aunt's 100th birthday. When a thief steals the prized book, Paddington embarks on an epic quest to unmask the culprit before Aunt Lucy's big celebration. Based on the books by Michael Bond.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

It Messes With Your Head! (DVS)

Misery Index, The

What does Murr look like with a full head of hair, what's it like to have 250 orgasms in a single day, and who likes to use handcuffs in the bedroom? Find out as our contestants battle for 30k in this kinky episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Paddington 2 (DVS)

Settled in with the Brown family, Paddington the bear is a popular member of the community who spreads joy and marmalade wherever he goes. One fine day, he spots a pop-up book in an antique shop -- the perfect present for his beloved aunt's 100th birthday. When a thief steals the prized book, Paddington embarks on an epic quest to unmask the culprit before Aunt Lucy's big celebration. Based on the books by Michael Bond.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (DVS)

Bitter and hateful, the Grinch is irritated at the thought of the nearby village having a happy time celebrating Christmas. So disguised as Santa Claus with his dog Max made to look like a reindeer, he raids the village to steal all the Christmas things.

TV-G

7:30 PM

Elf's Story: The Elf on the Shelf, An (DVS)

Chippy is assigned to a family that includes a boy who is questioning the magic of Christmas. When Chippy finds the assignment a bit challenging, his good friends, Santa, and an unexpected child help him remember why his job is important!

TV-G

8:00 PM

Wonder (DVS)

Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie Pullman becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to discover their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out. Based on the novel by R.J. Palacio.

TV-PG

10:00 PM

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (DVS)

Bitter and hateful, the Grinch is irritated at the thought of the nearby village having a happy time celebrating Christmas. So disguised as Santa Claus with his dog Max made to look like a reindeer, he raids the village to steal all the Christmas things.

TV-G

11:00 PM

Wonder (DVS)

Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie Pullman becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to discover their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out. Based on the novel by R.J. Palacio.

TV-PG

Monday, Dec 7
2:30 AM

Paddington 2 (DVS)

Settled in with the Brown family, Paddington the bear is a popular member of the community who spreads joy and marmalade wherever he goes. One fine day, he spots a pop-up book in an antique shop -- the perfect present for his beloved aunt's 100th birthday. When a thief steals the prized book, Paddington embarks on an epic quest to unmask the culprit before Aunt Lucy's big celebration. Based on the books by Michael Bond.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Paddington 2 (DVS)

Settled in with the Brown family, Paddington the bear is a popular member of the community who spreads joy and marmalade wherever he goes. One fine day, he spots a pop-up book in an antique shop -- the perfect present for his beloved aunt's 100th birthday. When a thief steals the prized book, Paddington embarks on an epic quest to unmask the culprit before Aunt Lucy's big celebration. Based on the books by Michael Bond.

TV-PG

12:00 PM

One with Joey's Fridge, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross worries when his student/girlfriend goes on vacation with her wild friends. Meanwhile, Joey's refrigerator breaks down.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

One with Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., The (DVS)

Friends

Primarily composed of clips from earlier shows, Joey auditions for a major television role but Chandler almost ruins everything.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross is nervous about meeting Paul, Elizabeth's dad, and invites the gang to the coffeehouse for moral support.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One Where Paul's the Man, The (DVS)

Friends

Elizabeth and Ross decide to hide their relationship from her father and head up to his cabin for the weekend.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Ring, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe helps Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Proposal Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler plans to propose to Monica.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Proposal Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Monica's Thunder, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

Oedipal Panties (DVS)

American Dad

When Stan's mom, Betty, gets dumped by a boyfriend for the umpteenth time, she comes running to Stan for support. Feeling threatened by her always-visiting mother-in-law, Francine is determined to cut Stan's umbilical cord and figure out what keeps going wrong with the men in Betty's life. Like a regular Cagney & Lacey, Francine and Roger go undercover to solve the case. Meanwhile, Klaus gives Steve the ick.

TV-14

4:30 PM

Widowmaker (DVS)

American Dad

Francine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally, but she gets more than she bargained for when he tells her that he killed her best friend Julie's husband. Meanwhile, Roger plays psychiatrist to help them work through their issues.

TV-14

5:00 PM

Red October Sky (DVS)

American Dad

Stan goes in search of a former KGB agent, Sergei, and is shocked to find that the man is his new next-door neighbor and that Sergei has already turned Steve into a communist. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus head to France for a little R&R but their trip takes a turn for the worst when Klaus gets busted for drug smuggling.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Office Spaceman (DVS)

American Dad

When the CIA initiates an Alien Task Force, a peculiar twist of fate puts Roger in charge of the task force in disguise, who marks Stan as an alien to protect his own identity. Meanwhile Francine comes to grips with being left-handed.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Father of the Bob (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

At Bob's father's Christmas party, Bob and "Big Bob" rehash an old argument and try to outdo each other in the kitchen. Meanwhile, the kids compete to find the best gift for their dad.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

Tina Tailor Soldier Spy (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Tina goes undercover in her old Thundergirls troop to find the mole who is giving away their cookie secrets. Meanwhile, tired of the kids counting her gray hairs, Linda decides to go blonde. But when she starts making dumb mistakes at work, Bob worries that being blonde has gone to her head!

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Midday Run (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When Tina is up for a big hall monitor promotion, she is determined to do whatever it takes to nab the powerful job, so she enlists the help of Gene and Louise. Meanwhile, back at the restaurant, Linda gets artsy and begins to decorate the walls with customer artwork on napkins.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

Speakeasy Rider (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Tina, Gene and Louise are ready to put the pedal to the metal when they join a go-kart league. Meanwhile, back at the restaurant, Bob and Teddy partner up to serve Teddy's home-brewed beer.

TV-PG

8:00 PM

Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

In order to become an accepted member of the Community Garden, Bob must make a deal that results in giving Louise's arch enemy a job at the restaurant. Father and daughter are at odds and a choice must be made.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream (DVS)

Family Guy

When Peter decides to be a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker's agent as his first step toward stardom. Meanwhile, Chris dates a girl who looks disturbingly like a member of the Griffin household.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Be Careful What You Fish For (DVS)

Family Guy

When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor to a helpful dolphin (guest voice Ricky Gervais). Soon the dolphin moves to Quahog, outstays his welcome at Peter's and moves into Cleveland's house across the street. Peter tries to reunite the dolphin with his ex-wife in hopes that he'll return to the ocean, but his plan backfires and the whole dolphin family moves into Cleveland's.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Burning Down the Bayit (DVS)

Family Guy

Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. However, things take a turn for the worse when the trio decides to burn it down to collect insurance money.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Killer Queen (DVS)

Family Guy

When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweight kids. Meanwhile, Stewie is traumatized by the frightening cover of a Queen album.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Forget Me Not (DVS)

Family Guy

After a car accident, Peter, Brian, Joe, and Quagmire wake up in a hospital with no memory and discover that they're the last people left on Earth.

TV-14

11:00 PM

You Can't Do That on Television, Peter (DVS)

Family Guy

After Peter's favorite children's television show gets cancelled, he takes matters into his own hands by creating and starring in his own show for kids. Meanwhile, Meg begins an internship at the hospital with Dr. Hartman.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Mr. and Mrs. Stewie (DVS)

Family Guy

Stewie meets a little girl who might be his soulmate; Lois buys twin beds after Peter repeatedly crushes her in his sleep.

TV-14

Tuesday, Dec 8
12:00 AM

Leggo My Meg-O (DVS)

Family Guy

Stewie and Brian attempt to track down Meg after she's abducted in Paris by sex slave operatives.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Tea Peter (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter joins the Tea Party but doesn't discover until it's too late that Carter Pewterschmidt is using the party to get rid of government for his own selfish motives.

TV-14

1:00 AM

American Data? (DVS)

American Dad

Steve and the boys take part in a prison experiment to earn some cash. Meanwhile, Stan deals with the death of his CIA groundskeeper friend.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Salute Your Sllort (DVS)

American Dad

Steve's efforts to befriend a Swedish exchange student backfire in a big way; The family calls in an animal behaviorist to deal with Klaus.

TV-14

2:00 AM

Conan 101444 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Hot Tub, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine's house guest arrives for the city's marathon; Kramer gets a hot tub.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Soup Nazi, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's favorite soup vendor won't serve his new girlfriend.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan 101444 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Slump, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Jake starts accumulating unsolved cases, the other detectives worry his losing streak will rub off on them; Amy, Rosa and Gina run a program for at-risk youth; Boyle helps Sgt. Jeffords with a case.

TV-14

4:30 AM

M.E. Time (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake hits on an attractive medical examiner at a crime scene and holds up the autopsy report; Amy's purse-snatching case is stalled when the sketch artist is out sick.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Halloween (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Unhappy Amy must wear a costume to go on patrol with Charles; Jake bets Holt he can steal his Medal of Valor.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Sal's Pizza (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Sal's Pizza burns down, Jake goes out of his way to disprove the fire marshal's assumption that the owner set the fire; a computer virus exposes the precinct members' Internet browser histories.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Hold-Up (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline show their true colors when the diner gets robbed. Meanwhile, everyone sees a surprising new side of Han.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Cupcake War (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline put their baking skills to the test when they audition to be contestants on the hit cooking show Cupcake Wars.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Pre-Approved Credit Card (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

A new pre-approved credit card causes strife between Max and Caroline, who have different opinions on what to charge on it. Meanwhile, Earl's estranged son, Darius, arrives in New York with hopes of becoming a stand-up comedian.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Candy Manwich (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Andy, a cute candy store owner, has eyes for Caroline, but she's too embarrassed to see him after a humiliating experience at his candy store.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with Rachel's Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Phoebe's Cookies, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Rachel's Assistant, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Engagement Picture, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Nap Partners, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Ross's Library Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's former girlfriend manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's irrational fear causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute dog. Rachel's assistant gives her a Thanksgiving surprise.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with All the Candy, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant. Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the Holiday Armadillo, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross teaches Ben about Chanukah. Phoebe worries that Rachel prefers living with Joey .

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with All the Cheesecakes, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One Where They're Up All Night, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag. Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One Where Rosita Dies, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker. Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold (DVS)

American Dad

After officially being declared dead due to an accident, Stan comes back to life and realizes he dreams of leaving a legacy on the world. He excavates his home in search of Ollie North's Contra-band buried treasure.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Choosey Wives Choose Smith (DVS)

American Dad

Stan becomes jealous when he finds out Francine was once engaged to a pilot whose plane crashed, and she seemed to settle for Stan before learning her former fiancé was still alive. Stan and Roger try to track the man down, while Francine must choose between her husband and her lost love.

TV-14

8:00 PM

One That Got Away, The (DVS)

American Dad

Roger discovers one of his personas has taken on a life of his own. Back at home, the Smith family becomes addicted to the 1970s electronic game Simon.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Spring Break-Up (DVS)

American Dad

With Francine gone to visit her parents, Roger holds a Spring Break blowout at the Smith house. During the festivities, Stan falls for a Spring Break Buddy and Steve is on the verge of losing his virginity.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Sibling Rivalry (DVS)

Family Guy

After a pregnancy scare, Peter reluctantly agrees to get a vasectomy.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Patriot Games (DVS)

Family Guy

At his high school reunion, Peter pretends to be a millionaire, but the truth comes out when he meets Tom Brady and loses all self-control.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Fetal Kick Catalyst, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Feeling his fetal offspring kick sends Howard on a baby-items buying binge with Raj; Sheldon and Amy host a brunch in their new digs; and Penny, by virtue of her virtuoso performance in "Serial Apist," is invited to a sci-fi convention.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Veracity Elasticity, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In order to remain Sheldon's roomie, Amy fibs about repairs being made to her apartment. Later, they present a episode of "Fun with Flags" in Penny's apartment.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Brain Bowl Incubation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A successful gene experiment leaves Sheldon excited to procreate with Amy, and he pulls out all stops to get her on board. Meanwhile, Raj is reluctant to reveal what the new woman in his life does for a living.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Geology Elevation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A geologist coworker's MacArthur Genius fellowship award leaves Sheldon stone cold jealous. Meanwhile, Howard stumbles upon a remote-control Stephen Hawking action figure that he invented. Hawking appears as himself.

TV-PG

Wednesday, Dec 9
12:00 AM

Property Division Collision, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A great divide develops between Sheldon and Leonard when it comes time to divvy up their shared belongings. Meanwhile, with Bernadette heading into her pregnancy homestretch, Raj and Stuart battle to be the one providing her the most help.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Birthday Synchronicity, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The Wolowitz baby arrives, while Sheldon and Amy celebrate Amy's birthday.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Romance Recalibration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

After a marital disagreement, Penny takes off for a spa weekend with Amy, and Sheldon steps in to play peacemaker for the squabbling newlyweds. Meanwhile, Howard and Raj do battle with a noisy floor in the baby's room.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

It's Gonna Be a Bloodbath (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Sweat bees in the eyes, one girl's battle with the zombie apocalypse and why you should never inject your privates with petroleum jelly! It's all happening on this hilarious episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

2:00 AM

Conan 101445 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

2:30 AM

It's Gonna Be a Bloodbath (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Sweat bees in the eyes, one girl's battle with the zombie apocalypse and why you should never inject your privates with petroleum jelly! It's all happening on this hilarious episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

3:00 AM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Conan 101445 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Old School (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake gets to spend the day with his hero, a former crime reporter; Terry and Charles work with Rosa on how she comes across on the witness stand.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Thanksgiving (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Holt and Jake must leave Amy's Thanksgiving dinner to catch a perp, Boyle steps in to save the day.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Christmas (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Holt starts getting death threats, Jake takes charge of his security; Amy tries to get a precinct Christmas photo; Terry gets his mojo back.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Bet, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake and Amy settle their ongoing bet about who can make more arrests; Charles reveals what he really thinks about his colleagues while under the influence of pain medication.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Three Boys with Wood (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline enlist two Amish boys who are exploring the modern world to build a barn for Chestnut. Meanwhile, Candy Andy discovers Caroline's ex-billionaire identity.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Egg Special (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline cook up a surprising fundraising solution when a potential storefront for Max's Homemade Cupcakes becomes available for rent.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the New Boss (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline hire an intern, Ruth, to help take care of some of the dirty work in preparation of opening their new cupcake shop, Max has trouble with her new managerial role.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Big Opening (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline host a grand opening celebration at their new cupcake shop. To show off her success, Max invites her former flame Johnny and her ex-boyfriend Robbie.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One Where They All Turn Thirty, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Joey's New Brain, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star. Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Truth About London, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Cheap Wedding Dress, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with Joey's Award, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Ross & Monica's Cousin, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica's gorgeous cousin unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with Rachel's Big Kiss, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister. Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Vows, The (DVS)

Friends

As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with Chandler's Dad, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father. Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

On the eve of the wedding, Ross searches for missing Chandler, who has doubts, while the girls distract unsuspecting Monica.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One After I Do, The (DVS)

Friends

The reception following Monica and Chandler's wedding is almost upstaged by the news that a member of the group might be pregnant.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

One Little Word (DVS)

American Dad

When Stan becomes his boss' new advisor, he feels like he can't say no to anything, not even outrageous personal requests. But when Francine gets involved in the situation and his annoying "yes-man" antics ruin her Valentine's Day vacation, she does everything in her power to force him to say "no".

TV-14

7:30 PM

Escape from Pearl Bailey (DVS)

American Dad

Steve plots revenge against Lisa Silver and the cool kids after Debbie loses her bid to become student council president. But when the cool kids stage a counterattack, will Steve and his friends survive?

TV-14

8:00 PM

1600 Candles (DVS)

American Dad

The Smiths' plans to celebrate Roger's 1,600th birthday are sidetracked when Steve announces he's finally going through puberty. Ever fearful of the thought of a Steve with raging hormones, Stan and Francine try to bypass the pains by having experimental medicine injected into Steve's head.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Pulling Double Booty (DVS)

American Dad

Hayley's boyfriend, Jeff, breaks up with her. After going on a short rampage through the mall after the break-up, Hayley falls for Stan's body double, Bill, from the CIA. Things take a bizarre twist when the double begins hitting on Francine. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve get their first summer job at a Chinese chicken hatchery.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Deep Throats (DVS)

Family Guy

When Meg lands an internship with Mayor West, Brian argues that he is corrupt; a local talent show brings Peter and Lois back to their folk-singing days.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Peterotica (DVS)

Family Guy

After reading an erotic novel, Peter decides to write one of his own and gets Carter to publish it.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Emotion Detection Automation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon learns about an MIT invention that can help read people's emotions and decides to test it. Meanwhile, Leonard has trouble hiding his emotions when Penny announces her brother is going to visit; and Raj gathers former girlfriends to ask for their dating advice.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Locomotion Reverberation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

With Sheldon hindering progress on the guidance-system project, Leonard and Stuart figure the only way they can get back on track is to engineer a distraction by getting him tickets to a historic railroad. Penny and Amy spirit away new-mommy Bernadette for a girls' night out, leaving baby Halley in the hands of Raj and Stuart.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Allowance Evaporation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy is incensed when she discovers Sheldon has shared intimate relationship information with people at the University; and Raj is knocked for a loop when his father stops sending financial support.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Comic-Con Conundrum, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Without financial backing from his father, Raj finds himself in a cash crunch and turns to Sheldon to help him get his head above water. Meanwhile, Penny considers crashing the guys' annual Comic-Con getaway.

TV-PG

Thursday, Dec 10
12:00 AM

Escape Hatch Identification, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard and Penny offer Sheldon's old room to Raj after he moves out of his apartment.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Collaboration Fluctuation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Raj moves in with Leonard and Penny and a period of adjustment begins for the three, while usually self-centered Sheldon shows surprising interest in Amy's work.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Recollection Dissipation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon is working overtime and pushing himself to the limit when he collaborates on projects with Leonard and Howard, and another one with Amy, all on the same day. Bernadette's maternity leave is running out and she must face going back to work.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

December 9, 2020 (DVS)

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

A talk show of Samantha Bee's nuanced, satirical view of political and cultural issues.

TV-MA

2:00 AM

Conan 101446 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

2:30 AM

December 9, 2020 (DVS)

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

A talk show of Samantha Bee's nuanced, satirical view of political and cultural issues.

TV-MA

3:00 AM

Secret Code, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George conceals his ATM code from fiancee Susan.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan 101446 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Right Thing, The (DVS)

New Girl

Jess crashes a funeral, hoping to delete a sext she recently sent to the deceased. Then, Schmidt's mom, Louise, arrives in town for a visit to demand he write thank-you notes for his bar mitzvah gifts, and Winston is desperate to be off-duty friends with his police partner, Aly.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Par 5 (DVS)

New Girl

Jess accompanies Fawn to a charity golf tournament, where the vice principal's attempts to make a good impression prove subpar. Meanwhile, Winston meets an attractive woman but needs to lie about being a cop.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Panty Gate (DVS)

New Girl

Fawn is at the center of a political scandal, so Schmidt steps in to help her out. Meanwhile, Jess takes on the role of "love doctor," and Coach faces a life-altering situation with May.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Clean Break (DVS)

New Girl

In the Season 4 finale, Coach is moving out of the loft, while Schmidt gets rid of non-essentials and comes to realize what is really important to him, and Jess & Nick reminisce and try to determine how they feel about each other.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Silent Partner (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie is depressed after being swindled by the contractor in charge of building her dream house, so Max offers to make her a silent partner in the cupcake business but Caroline and Sophie have very different visions for the company.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the High Holidays (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Desperate for a way to pay their overdue rent, Max and Caroline get involved with a group of sketchy customers willing to pay top dollar for their cupcakes.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Bear Truth (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

A relaxing getaway for two becomes an awkward vacation for three when Max, Caroline, and Andy spend a weekend together in a cabin in the woods.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And Too Little Sleep (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline enlist the gang from the diner to help them bake throughout the night in order to fulfill a giant cupcake order.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Red Sweater, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One Where Rachel Tells..., The (DVS)

Friends

The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed; Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.

TV-14

2:00 PM

One with the Videotape, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Rachel's Date, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross is horrified when Rachel goes on a date with a soap-opera star. Phoebe is attracted to a clumsy chef whom Monica wants to fire.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Halloween Party, The (DVS)

Friends

At Monica's Halloween party, Phoebe meets her twin sister's fiance and finds that she is attracted to him.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Stain, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel wants to find her own apartment. Phoebe is ecstatic when Eric dumps Ursula to date her.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Stripper, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel tells her belligerent father that she is pregnant with Ross' child.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Rumor, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica encounters a high-school friend and invites him to Thanksgiving Day dinner.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with Monica's Boots, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler is angry when Monica buys expensive boots. Phoebe tries to get tickets to a Sting concert.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with the Ross' Step Forward, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross' new girlfriend orders Christmas cards with a photo of them on the cover.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One Where Joey Dates Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel joins Joey for a night out in order to prepare him for a big date.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One Where Chandler Takes a Bath, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica blabs her suspicions when she mistakenly believes Joey is infatuated with Phoebe.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Phantom of the Telethon (DVS)

American Dad

Congress has cut the CIA torture budget in favor of using that money to help inner city kids learn how to read. The CIA must figure out a new way to raise $1 million to fund their torture program. Stan wants to prove he's an idea man so he struggles to figure out a way to raise the money. Roger mentions to Stan that a telethon would be a great idea. At first Stan dismisses it; but the next day Stan bounds into the house and announces to his family his boss loved his idea of a CIA telethon.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Chimdale (DVS)

American Dad

While Steve is showering after gym class, it is pointed out to him that he has scoliosis! Stan takes him to the doctor, who confirms the ugly truth, and gives him a huge back brace to wear to correct the curvature. Steve is absolutely mortified, and refuses to go to school. Stan persuades him into going by pointing out it's not the outside that matters, but the inside.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Stan Time (DVS)

American Dad

Every night Stan comes home from work exhausted and is faced with the task of spending time with his family and then going straight to bed, eliminating the chance of any alone time. In ten years, he still hasn't been able to get through one chapter of a book. A co-worker slips him some pills that allow him to stay up all night and still feel rested. He jumps at the opportunity, and uses his extra time to do all of the things he hasn't had time to do. He finishes his book, teaches himself the piano and shoots hoops. He feels great. When Francine uncovers his late-night activities and what he's taking in order to make it happen, she demands her own pills.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Family Affair (DVS)

American Dad

When the Smiths get ready for family game night, Roger tells them he can't join them because he has to rehearse for his play that is set to open the next night. They're disappointed but decide to support Roger by going to his play on opening night even though he's begged them not to.

TV-14

9:00 PM

You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian becomes a crazed activist when Mayor West bans gay marriage after Jasper announces he wants to marry his partner at the Griffin home.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Petergeist (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter discovers an Indian burial ground in the backyard; Stewie gets sucked into the television.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Separation Agitation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leaving baby Halley in day care proves to be tough for Bernadette after she starts back to work; and geologist Bert digs up a girlfriend, but some of his colleagues think she's a golddigger.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Cognition Regeneration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny's job offer from a former boyfriend doesn't sit well with Leonard.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Gyroscopic Collapse, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard, Sheldon and Wolowitz celebrate the successful completion of their top-secret military project, until an unpleasant surprise leaves their heads spinning. Amy considers an offer of a summer position as a visiting researcher.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Long Distance Dissonance, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

On the Season 10 finale, Sheldon's former admirer, Dr. Ramona Nowitzki, turns up while Amy is visiting Princeton, and the gang is extremely concerned.

TV-PG

Friday, Dec 11
12:00 AM

Proposal Proposal, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Season 11 begins with Amy giving Sheldon an answer to his marriage proposal. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette struggle with some unexpected news.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Retraction Reaction, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard angers the university and the entire physics community when he gives an embarrassing radio interview. Meanwhile, Amy and Bernadette bond over having to hide their success from Sheldon and Howard.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Relaxation Integration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy records Sheldon talking in his sleep and tries to convince him that he has a more laid-back side. Meanwhile, Raj and Stuart compete to win the heart of Bernadette's new co-worker.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Explosion Implosion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Wolowitz and Sheldon bond over their relationships with their disappointing fathers when they drive to the desert to shoot off a model rocket. Leonard's mom finds a new best friend in Penny, much to Leonard's dismay.

TV-PG

2:00 AM

Conan 101447 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Pool Guy, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

The pool man at Jerry's health club wants to be his best friend.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Sponge, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine considers intimacy with her new boyfriend.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan 101447 (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Big Mama P (DVS)

New Girl

Cece and Schmidt ask Jess and Nick to be maid of honor and best man at their wedding, so the two bridal-party members start to arrange an engagement party. But things take an unusual turn after Jess invites Cece's mom.

TV-14

4:30 AM

What About Fred? (DVS)

New Girl

Jess is ready to date again, but is disappointed in the dud spud she lands, and things get complicated when she takes a serious liking to his perfectly fun parents.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Jury Duty (DVS)

New Girl

Jess in unable to sustain her excitement about jury duty after finding out she may be in line for a promotion at work. Meanwhile, Nick hits the ceiling over the mess Cece's made of the loft.

TV-14

5:30 AM

No Girl (DVS)

New Girl

While Jess is sequestered at jury duty, Nick rents out the loft to earn money to help pay for Schmidt's bachelor party. Meanwhile, Winston suspects KC is being unfaithful and asks Cece for help learning the truth.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Psychic Shakedown (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

After discovering that Candy Andy closed up his shop following their breakup, Caroline visits a psychic for a reading about her future love life.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And Just Plane Magic (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max scores tickets to a music awards show in Los Angeles, she and Caroline end up flying on a private jet with Grammy-nominated rapper 2 Chainz.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Broken Hip (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline pay a high price for attempting to remove a street performer away from the entry to their cupcake shop.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And Not-So-Sweet Charity (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In danger of losing their cupcake shop, Max and Caroline approach Caroline's rich but callous Aunt Charity for help.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Secret Closet, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey realizes his intense feelings for Rachel are excluding Ross from the joys of impending fatherhood.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Birthing Video, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica prepares a memorable St. Valentine's Day for Chandler with sexy lingerie and X-rated entertainment.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One Where Joey Tells Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey tells Rachel that he is in love with her.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Tea Leaves, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel devises a lie about her unborn child that she hopes will break the silence between her and Joey. Phoebe reads tea leaves and predicts she will soon encounter the man of her dreams.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One in Massapequa, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe brings her annoyingly upbeat boyfriend to the 35th anniversary of Monica and Ross' parents, who urge Ross and pregnant Rachel to pretend to be married.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Joey's Interview, The (DVS)

Friends

When Soap Opera Digest requests an interview, Joey enlists his friends to make sure he does not say anything that could cost him his role.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Baby Shower, The (DVS)

Friends

During her baby shower, Rachel realizes she is unprepared to be a mother and accepts her mother's offer to move in to help with the child.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Cooking Class, The (DVS)

Friends

A food critic blasts Monica's cooking in a newspaper review; a cute saleswoman riles Rachel when she flirts with Ross; Phoebe coaches Chandler for a job interview.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One Where Rachel Is Late, The (DVS)

Friends

Overdue Rachel tries everything to rush the delivery of her baby.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One Where No One Proposes, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey finds himself engaged to Rachel soon after she delivers her baby girl, while Phoebe assumes Ross is the one who proposed.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Live and Let Fry (DVS)

American Dad

Stan turns to smuggling when trans fat is banned from Langley Falls. But when Inspector Turlington of the Langley Falls police becomes suspicious of Stan, Stan recruits Steve into his illegal enterprise. Now Steve must find a way to keep the trans fat flowing while under Turlington's watch. Meanwhile, Roger helps Klaus claim an inheritance.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Roy Rodgers McFreely (DVS)

American Dad

After term limits force Stan out of his position as president of the HOA, Roger steps in as the new leader under the guise of one Roy Rogers McFreely. Roger uses his power to pass new resolutions and by-laws solely to anger Stan, who earlier refused to buy Roger grenadine. Stan teams up with Hayley and plots to have Roger removed from office.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Jack's Back (DVS)

American Dad

When Stan's con-man dad Jack resurfaces in prison awaiting trial for a crime he did not commit, Steve gets Stan to let Jack stay with them under house arrest. Steve takes the opportunity to reconcile the two, but Stan is convinced that Jack is just using them to escape prison. Meanwhile, Hayley interns at Roger's attic bar.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Untitled Griffin Family History (DVS)

Family Guy

The Griffins get robbed; Peter narrates a chain of events in world history that explains the Griffin name.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Mother Tucker (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter's mom announces that she is getting a divorce; Peter finds a father figure in anchorman Tom Tucker; Brian gets his own radio show.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Wedding Ringer, The (DVS)

A shy groom in need of a best man turns to a gregarious guy who offers groomsmen services.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Caddy, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer befriends a caddy who helps him improve his golf game.

TV-PG

Saturday, Dec 12
12:00 PM

Seven, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's girlfriend wears the same dress. Elaine loses a bike to Kramer.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Cadillac Part 1, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry surprises his parents with a new Cadillac.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

Cadillac Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry surprises his parents with a new Cadillac.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

Wedding Ringer, The (DVS)

A shy groom in need of a best man turns to a gregarious guy who offers groomsmen services.

TV-14

2:00 PM

Doll, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

One of Susan's dolls looks like George's mother. Kramer turns pool shark.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

It's Gonna Be a Bloodbath (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Sweat bees in the eyes, one girl's battle with the zombie apocalypse and why you should never inject your privates with petroleum jelly! It's all happening on this hilarious episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

4:30 PM

Wedding Ringer, The (DVS)

A shy groom in need of a best man turns to a gregarious guy who offers groomsmen services.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Collaboration Contamination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and Raj confide in Bernadette when they can't handle Amy and Howard working together. Penny and Leonard learn new tactics on how to deal with Sheldon and they come from an unlikely source.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Wonder (DVS)

Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie Pullman becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to discover their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out. Based on the novel by R.J. Palacio.

TV-PG

Sunday, Dec 13
1:00 AM

Collaboration Contamination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and Raj confide in Bernadette when they can't handle Amy and Howard working together. Penny and Leonard learn new tactics on how to deal with Sheldon and they come from an unlikely source.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Proton Regeneration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon goes head-to-head with Wil Wheaton for the role of the new Professor Proton. Penny steps in and takes care of Halley when Bernadette and Howard both wind up on bed rest.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

It's Gonna Be a Bloodbath (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Sweat bees in the eyes, one girl's battle with the zombie apocalypse and why you should never inject your privates with petroleum jelly! It's all happening on this hilarious episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

3:30 AM

And the Temporary Distraction (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When the girls take office temp jobs, Caroline tries to climb the corporate ladder and Max finds herself being hit on by the boss.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Big Hole (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

After Han fires Caroline for insulting his diner, Max tries to coax Caroline into apologizing.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Impractical Jokers (DVS)

Four longtime friends compete to embarrass each other with a series of hilarious dares. If they refuse, they lose. At the end, the big loser must endure an epic punishment.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

6:00 AM

It's Gonna Be a Bloodbath (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Sweat bees in the eyes, one girl's battle with the zombie apocalypse and why you should never inject your privates with petroleum jelly! It's all happening on this hilarious episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Temporary Distraction (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When the girls take office temp jobs, Caroline tries to climb the corporate ladder and Max finds herself being hit on by the boss.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Big Hole (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

After Han fires Caroline for insulting his diner, Max tries to coax Caroline into apologizing.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Worst Selfie Ever (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline panics when she develops a rash after a night with her ex-boyfriend, Andy.

TV-14

12:00 PM

Friar's Club, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry tries to join the Friars Club; a new co-worker causes more work for Elaine.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Wig Master, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry reconsiders buying a costly jacket by using Elaine's discount at the shop.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

Calzone, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George becomes his boss's pet when he shares a delicious calzone with him.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

Sherlock Gnomes (DVS)

When Gnomeo and Juliet first arrive in London, their biggest concern is getting their new garden ready for spring. After someone kidnaps their garden gnomes, the duo calls on famous Detective Sherlock Gnomes and his sidekick Watson to solve the case.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

Bottle Deposit Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's mechanic steals his car; Kramer plans to return used bottles to Michigan.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

Double the Misery (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Find out what happens when a carnival ride goes wrong, what it means to get intimate with the Golden Gate Bridge, and why what happens in Vegas really should stay there in this special Twins-centric episode of The Misery Index.

TV-14

4:30 PM

Sherlock Gnomes (DVS)

When Gnomeo and Juliet first arrive in London, their biggest concern is getting their new garden ready for spring. After someone kidnaps their garden gnomes, the duo calls on famous Detective Sherlock Gnomes and his sidekick Watson to solve the case.

TV-PG

8:00 PM

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (DVS)

Bitter and hateful, the Grinch is irritated at the thought of the nearby village having a happy time celebrating Christmas. So disguised as Santa Claus with his dog Max made to look like a reindeer, he raids the village to steal all the Christmas things.

TV-G

8:30 PM

Wonder (DVS)

Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie Pullman becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to discover their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out. Based on the novel by R.J. Palacio.

TV-PG

9:00 PM

Shrek 2 (DVS)

After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws. Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find an invitation to visit Fiona's parents, the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Far, Far Away. With Donkey along for the ride, the newlyweds set off. All of the citizens of Far, Far Away turn out to greet their returning Princess, and her parents happily anticipate the homecoming of their daughter and her new Prince. But no one could have prepared them for the sight of their new son-in-law, not to mention how much their little girl had changed. Little did Shrek and Fiona know that their marriage had foiled all of her father's plans for her future--and his own. Now the King must enlist the help of a powerful Fairy Godmother, the handsome Prince Charming and that famed ogre killer Puss In Boots to put right his version of happily ever after.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (DVS)

Bitter and hateful, the Grinch is irritated at the thought of the nearby village having a happy time celebrating Christmas. So disguised as Santa Claus with his dog Max made to look like a reindeer, he raids the village to steal all the Christmas things.

TV-G