DVS Offerings

Sunday, Mar 7
12:00 AM

Proton Transmogrification, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A grief-stricken Sheldon receives counseling from his childhood TV idol, Professor Proton, while Penny and Leonard reach a relationship milestone and turn it into a competition and Bernadette and Amy turn Star Wars Day into a special event for the guys.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Status Quo Combustion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon gets caught up in all the life-altering changes going on around him and considers a monumental move.

TV-PG

2:30 AM

This Show is on Fire! (DVS)

Go-Big Show

It's the last chance for our acts to reach the finale. Whether crashing monster trucks, setting themselves on fire or pushing their bodies to agonizing extremes, no-one is holding back in their attempts to get the $100,000 prize… and make sure you stick around for a huge surprise! Judged by Snoop Dogg, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Nettles and Cody Rhodes. Hosted by Bert Kreischer.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Reality Check (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline try to find Chestnut a job so the horse will have lodging and shelter for the winter. Meanwhile, Peach, the mother of the twins Max babysits, auditions for television reality show Real Housewives of TriBeCa.

TV-14

6:00 AM

Strike, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George's father invents a new holiday; Kramer returns to work at the bagel shop.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

It's Caroline's first broke holiday season and, to earn extra money, she and Max apply to work as elves at a department store's Santaland.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Reality Check (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline try to find Chestnut a job so the horse will have lodging and shelter for the winter. Meanwhile, Peach, the mother of the twins Max babysits, auditions for television reality show Real Housewives of TriBeCa.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Pop-Up Sale (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max's stove breaks, Caroline tries to return some expensive rings to Barney's department store, but discovers her surname is no longer an asset at the store where she used to get special treatment.

TV-14

8:00 AM

This Show is on Fire! (DVS)

Go-Big Show

It's the last chance for our acts to reach the finale. Whether crashing monster trucks, setting themselves on fire or pushing their bodies to agonizing extremes, no-one is holding back in their attempts to get the $100,000 prize… and make sure you stick around for a huge surprise! Judged by Snoop Dogg, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Nettles and Cody Rhodes. Hosted by Bert Kreischer.

TV-14

9:30 AM

Dealership, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry seeks a good deal on a new car from Elaine's boyfriend.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

This Show is on Fire! (DVS)

Go-Big Show

It's the last chance for our acts to reach the finale. Whether crashing monster trucks, setting themselves on fire or pushing their bodies to agonizing extremes, no-one is holding back in their attempts to get the $100,000 prize… and make sure you stick around for a huge surprise! Judged by Snoop Dogg, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Nettles and Cody Rhodes. Hosted by Bert Kreischer.

TV-14

12:00 PM

Crazy Rich Asians (DVS)

Rachel Chu is happy to accompany her longtime boyfriend, Nick, to his best friend's wedding in Singapore. She's also surprised to learn that Nick's family is extremely wealthy and he's considered one of the country's most eligible bachelors. Thrust into the spotlight, Rachel must now contend with jealous socialites, quirky relatives and something far, far worse -- Nick's disapproving mother. Based on the novel by Kevin Kwan.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Crazy Rich Asians (DVS)

Rachel Chu is happy to accompany her longtime boyfriend, Nick, to his best friend's wedding in Singapore. She's also surprised to learn that Nick's family is extremely wealthy and he's considered one of the country's most eligible bachelors. Thrust into the spotlight, Rachel must now contend with jealous socialites, quirky relatives and something far, far worse -- Nick's disapproving mother. Based on the novel by Kevin Kwan.

TV-14

11:00 PM

This Show is on Fire! (DVS)

Go-Big Show

It's the last chance for our acts to reach the finale. Whether crashing monster trucks, setting themselves on fire or pushing their bodies to agonizing extremes, no-one is holding back in their attempts to get the $100,000 prize… and make sure you stick around for a huge surprise! Judged by Snoop Dogg, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Nettles and Cody Rhodes. Hosted by Bert Kreischer.

TV-14

Monday, Mar 8
12:00 AM

Ocean's Eight (DVS)

Five years, eight months, 12 days and counting -- that's how long Debbie Ocean has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it's going to take -- a team of the best people in the field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller. Together, they recruit a crew of specialists, including jeweler Amita, street con Constance, suburban mom Tammy, hacker Nine Ball, and fashion designer Rose. Their target -- a necklace that's worth more than $150 million.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Blended (DVS)

After a disastrous blind date, single parents Lauren and Jim agree on only one thing: they never want to see each other again. But when they each sign up separately for a fabulous family vacation with their kids, they're all stuck sharing a suite at a luxurious African safari resort for a week.

TV-14

2:15 AM

McFarland, USA (DVS)

A struggling coach and teacher who has had to move around for different incidents in his career finally comes to one of the poorest cities in America: McFarland, California. There he discovers buried potential in several high school boys and slowly turns them into championship runners and brings them closer than even he could ever imagine.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Ocean's Eight (DVS)

Five years, eight months, 12 days and counting -- that's how long Debbie Ocean has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it's going to take -- a team of the best people in the field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller. Together, they recruit a crew of specialists, including jeweler Amita, street con Constance, suburban mom Tammy, hacker Nine Ball, and fashion designer Rose. Their target -- a necklace that's worth more than $150 million.

TV-14

5:15 AM

McFarland, USA (DVS)

A struggling coach and teacher who has had to move around for different incidents in his career finally comes to one of the poorest cities in America: McFarland, California. There he discovers buried potential in several high school boys and slowly turns them into championship runners and brings them closer than even he could ever imagine.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

One Where Monica Gets a Roommate, The (DVS)

Friends

Six friends in their twenties pursue careers, love and happiness in New York City while relying on each other for support.

TV-PG

7:00 AM

One Where Eddie Won't Go, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out. Joey's exorbitant bills come due. The women learn from a book about personal empowerment.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Chandler tries to get a date for Rachel. Monica schemes to establish authority at her new restaurant job.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

One Where Monica Gets a Roommate, The (DVS)

Friends

Six friends in their twenties pursue careers, love and happiness in New York City while relying on each other for support.

TV-PG

10:00 AM

One Where Eddie Won't Go, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out. Joey's exorbitant bills come due. The women learn from a book about personal empowerment.

TV-PG

11:00 AM

One with the Embryos, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

One with the Proposal Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.

TV-PG

12:00 PM

One Where Rachel Tells..., The (DVS)

Friends

The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed; Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.

TV-14

12:30 PM

One with the Male Nanny, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross ridicules Rachel's choice of a male nanny.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

Life of the Party (DVS)

When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna turns regret into re-set by going back to college...landing in the same class and school as her daughter, who's not entirely sold on the idea. Plunging headlong into the campus experience, the increasingly outspoken Deanna - now Dee Rock - embraces freedom, fun and frat boys on her own terms, finding her true self in a senior year no one ever expected.

TV-14

3:00 PM

Heat, The (DVS)

FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) is a methodical investigator with a long-standing reputation for excellence -- and arrogance. In contrast, foul-mouthed, hot-tempered detective Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy) goes with her gut instincts and street smarts to remove criminals from the streets of Boston. Sparks fly when these polar opposites have to work together to capture a drug lord, but in the process, they become the last thing anyone expected -- buddies.

TV-14

4:00 PM

Life of the Party (DVS)

When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna turns regret into re-set by going back to college...landing in the same class and school as her daughter, who's not entirely sold on the idea. Plunging headlong into the campus experience, the increasingly outspoken Deanna - now Dee Rock - embraces freedom, fun and frat boys on her own terms, finding her true self in a senior year no one ever expected.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Ocean's Eight (DVS)

Five years, eight months, 12 days and counting -- that's how long Debbie Ocean has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it's going to take -- a team of the best people in the field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller. Together, they recruit a crew of specialists, including jeweler Amita, street con Constance, suburban mom Tammy, hacker Nine Ball, and fashion designer Rose. Their target -- a necklace that's worth more than $150 million.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Heat, The (DVS)

FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) is a methodical investigator with a long-standing reputation for excellence -- and arrogance. In contrast, foul-mouthed, hot-tempered detective Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy) goes with her gut instincts and street smarts to remove criminals from the streets of Boston. Sparks fly when these polar opposites have to work together to capture a drug lord, but in the process, they become the last thing anyone expected -- buddies.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (DVS)

In a time of conflict, a group of unlikely heroes band together on a mission to steal the plans to the Death Star, the Empire's ultimate weapon of destruction. This key event in the Star Wars timeline brings together ordinary people who choose to do extraordinary things, and in doing so, become part of something greater than themselves.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Ocean's Eight (DVS)

Five years, eight months, 12 days and counting -- that's how long Debbie Ocean has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it's going to take -- a team of the best people in the field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller. Together, they recruit a crew of specialists, including jeweler Amita, street con Constance, suburban mom Tammy, hacker Nine Ball, and fashion designer Rose. Their target -- a necklace that's worth more than $150 million.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (DVS)

In a time of conflict, a group of unlikely heroes band together on a mission to steal the plans to the Death Star, the Empire's ultimate weapon of destruction. This key event in the Star Wars timeline brings together ordinary people who choose to do extraordinary things, and in doing so, become part of something greater than themselves.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Contest, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine vie at self-denial.

TV-PG

Tuesday, Mar 9
12:00 AM

Soul Mate, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George suspects the foundation attorney believes he murdered Susan.

TV-PG

2:30 AM

Contest, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine vie at self-denial.

TV-PG

11:00 AM

And the Secret Ingredient (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In the midst of her new obsession with couponing, Caroline discovers the secret ingredient to Max's cupcakes.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the Upstairs Neighbor (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline are suspicious of the new upstairs neighbor, Sophie, who moves in after the old tenant dies.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And the Blind Spot (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline must prove their cleaning skills to upstairs neighbor Sophie in order to be hired as maids for her cleaning business.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Broken Hearts (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

It's Valentine's Day and Max shows her softer side when Earl has a heart attack and ends up in the hospital after seeing Sophie all dressed up. Meanwhile, Caroline attempts to rekindle an old flame of hers.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Engagement Picture, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Nap Partners, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Ross's Library Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's former girlfriend manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's irrational fear causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute dog. Rachel's assistant gives her a Thanksgiving surprise.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Holiday Armadillo, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross teaches Ben about Chanukah. Phoebe worries that Rachel prefers living with Joey .

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with All the Cheesecakes, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One Where They're Up All Night, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag. Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Rosita Dies, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker. Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One Where They All Turn Thirty, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with Joey's New Brain, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star. Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with the Truth About London, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One with the Cheap Wedding Dress, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Vacation Goo, The (DVS)

American Dad

The Smiths find out that their outstanding family vacations have only been experiences in virtual reality. Stan vows to redeem himself by taking the family on a cruise, but when they are stranded on a remote island, things get out of hand. Meanwhile, Roger goes from cruise ship singer to a dancer in a seedy gentlemen's club.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Meter Made (DVS)

American Dad

In order to be taken more seriously, Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all the power. Now he's getting the best tables at restaurants, pocketing quarters from meters, and impressing Francine with his prowess. But when Turlington from Parking Internal Affairs pays him a visit, Stan realizes crime and this lifestyle don't pay.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Dope and Faith (DVS)

American Dad

Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but the friend turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard, but the plan backfires. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to Hogwarts.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Big Trouble in Little Langley (DVS)

American Dad

Francine's Chinese adoptive parents drop in. Stan can't stand them and tries to find Francine's real parents, but when it becomes obvious they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle, Stan makes a detour and never introduces them to Francine.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Foreign Affairs (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois and Bonnie travel to Paris, where Bonnie has an affair with a Frenchman in a wheelchair; Peter decides to home school Meg and Chris.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Death Has a Shadow (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter gets drunk, setting off a series of events which end at the Super Bowl.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Junior Professor Solution, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon is ordered to teach a class, and the gang is surprised when Howard signs up to take it; and tensions between Penny and Bernadette afford Amy an opportunity to play one against the other.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

First Pitch Insufficiency, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A nervous Wolowitz is thrown for a loop when NASA asks him to toss out the first pitch at a Los Angeles Angels baseball game. Meanwhile, Sheldon brags that he and Amy are a better couple than Leonard and Penny.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Hook-Up Reverberation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Raj's girlfriend, Emily, gives Penny the cold shoulder after he reveals some info about their past history; and the guys contemplate buying into Stuart's comic-book emporium.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Focus Attenuation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy and Bernadette accuse former party girl Penny of becoming a party pooper when she lets an email from work impact their girls' weekend in Las Vegas. Meanwhile, the guys brainstorm about inventing something cool.

TV-PG

Wednesday, Mar 10
12:00 AM

Expedition Approximation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and Raj undertake an underground research expedition that turns into a test of how long before they get under each other's skin. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny argue about money.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Misinterpretation Agitation (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny's flirtatious sales pitch leaves a doctor-client smitten and the guys must pitch in to help her deal with him, while, Bernadette and Amy debate whether female scientists ought to play the sexuality card.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Don't Dip THAT in the Salsa (DVS)

Misery Index, The

We see that moped riding is an extreme sport, manscaping takes true bravery and learn how littering can truly be deadly. Brave kisser Corin takes on reluctant massage recipient Allen for a chance to take home more than $30,000!!

TV-14

2:30 AM

Don't Dip THAT in the Salsa (DVS)

Misery Index, The

We see that moped riding is an extreme sport, manscaping takes true bravery and learn how littering can truly be deadly. Brave kisser Corin takes on reluctant massage recipient Allen for a chance to take home more than $30,000!!

TV-14

11:00 AM

And the Kosher Cupcakes (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max tries to pass off her cupcakes as kosher when she and Caroline serve them at a boy's Bar Mitzvah.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the One Night Stands (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max joins Caroline on a trip to visit her father in prison.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And the Spring Break (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline take a vacation from their lives when they are asked to dog-sit at a couple's posh apartment.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Drug Money (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In an effort to raise money to help Caroline's father, Max convinces Caroline to partake in a clinical drug trial.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with Joey's Award, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Ross & Monica's Cousin, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica's gorgeous cousin unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Rachel's Big Kiss, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister. Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Vows, The (DVS)

Friends

As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with Chandler's Dad, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father. Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

On the eve of the wedding, Ross searches for missing Chandler, who has doubts, while the girls distract unsuspecting Monica.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One After I Do, The (DVS)

Friends

The reception following Monica and Chandler's wedding is almost upstaged by the news that a member of the group might be pregnant.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the Red Sweater, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One Where Rachel Tells..., The (DVS)

Friends

The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed; Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.

TV-14

6:00 PM

One with the Videotape, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One with Rachel's Date, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross is horrified when Rachel goes on a date with a soap-opera star. Phoebe is attracted to a clumsy chef whom Monica wants to fire.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Franny 911 (DVS)

American Dad

Francine fakes Roger's kidnapping so she can prove to Roger that Stan still cares about him. So why won't Stan pay his ransom?

TV-14

7:30 PM

Tearjerker (DVS)

American Dad

Stan and the family are characters in a James Bond-style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Oedipal Panties (DVS)

American Dad

When Stan's mom, Betty, gets dumped by a boyfriend for the umpteenth time, she comes running to Stan for support. Feeling threatened by her always-visiting mother-in-law, Francine is determined to cut Stan's umbilical cord and figure out what keeps going wrong with the men in Betty's life. Like a regular Cagney & Lacey, Francine and Roger go undercover to solve the case. Meanwhile, Klaus gives Steve the ick.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Red October Sky (DVS)

American Dad

Stan goes in search of a former KGB agent, Sergei, and is shocked to find that the man is his new next-door neighbor and that Sergei has already turned Steve into a communist. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus head to France for a little R&R but their trip takes a turn for the worst when Klaus gets busted for drug smuggling.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Chitty Chitty Death Bang (DVS)

Family Guy

It's Stewie's first birthday, but Meg is at a party that is really a cult meeting.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Mind Over Murder (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter is under house arrest after punching a pregnant woman he thought was a man.

TV-PG

10:00 PM

Septum Deviation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard needs surgery for a deviated septum, and Sheldon gets his nose out of joint because he feels an operation is too dangerous and that his roommate may not make it out alive.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Champagne Reflection, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

It's a banner day for Sheldon as he bids a sad farewell to his Fun With Flags podcast. Meanwhile, Leonard, Howard and Raj probe a late professor's research in search of some hidden significance.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Clean Room Infiltration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

On Christmas Eve, Amy plans a traditional Victorian dinner, while Raj, Leonard and Howard scramble to remove a pigeon that flew into the clean room at the university.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Space Probe Disintegration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

While Raj eagerly awaits data from a space probe in which he was involved, Howard keeps distracting him. Later, dress shopping with Penny and Amy doesn't exactly prove to be a good fit for Leonard and Sheldon.

TV-PG

Thursday, Mar 11
12:00 AM

Anxiety Optimization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon becomes concerned that his cushy lifestyle is impacting his professional progress and keeping him from achieving scientific renown, so he asks the gang to make life more difficult for him.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Troll Manifestation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An online troll rips Leonard and Sheldon's published physics paper, so the guys rally to defend the two and expose the bully, while a girls night out leads to Penny, Amy and Bernadette dishing about embarrassing past events.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Bookstore, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George hopes to meet women at a bookstore where Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting.

TV-PG

4:30 AM

Tomatoes (DVS)

New Girl

Jess fears she and Russell don't share the fiery passion he exhibits with his ex-wife Ouli. Meanwhile, Cece is not yet willing to admit her true feelings for Schmidt, so she encourages him to go on a date with one of her Russian model roommates. Then, a down-in-the-dumps Nick channels all of his energy into a new vegetable garden.

TV-14

6:00 AM

Secrets (DVS)

New Girl

While training for a marathon, Jess discovers that Cece has been keeping a secret from her, and their friendship is put to the test. Meanwhile, Winston can't handle being the only one who knows about Cece and Schmidt, and Nick reluctantly asks for Schmidt's help as he tries to juggle dating two women at once.

TV-14

6:30 AM

Normal (DVS)

New Girl

A nervous Jess invites Russell to spend the weekend at the loft, and her fears are amplified when he gets along better with the guys than she hoped. Meanwhile, Winston begins work at a sports radio station, but quickly finds out his boss is more of a shock jock, and Nick tries to make an invention from his idea notebook into a reality.

TV-14

7:00 AM

Kids (DVS)

New Girl

Jess babysits Russell's pre-teen daughter for the weekend and meets his ex-wife. Then, Schmidt and Cece panic when they think she's pregnant. Also, Nick's new girlfriend may be too young, and Winston discovers his new boss is a big baby.

TV-14

7:30 AM

Tomatoes (DVS)

New Girl

Jess fears she and Russell don't share the fiery passion he exhibits with his ex-wife Ouli. Meanwhile, Cece is not yet willing to admit her true feelings for Schmidt, so she encourages him to go on a date with one of her Russian model roommates. Then, a down-in-the-dumps Nick channels all of his energy into a new vegetable garden.

TV-14

8:00 AM

Backslide (DVS)

New Girl

When Jess and Nick run into their exes Paul and Caroline, the gang fears they both may backslide into romantic relationships. Meanwhile, Schmidt desperately tries not to get aroused as he deals with a delicate medical issue. Winston suffers the consequences of a wild night out with his boss and Cece brings Schmidt to a nursing home to meet her grandmother.

TV-14

11:00 AM

And the Messy Purse Smackdown (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline promises Earl that she will drop his tax return in the mail but when she learns that Max has never filed her taxes, she gets sidetracked trying to help Max.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the Big Buttercream Breakthrough (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max's babysitting gig with Peach is in peril if the cupcakes she and Caroline deliver to Peach's socialite friend aren't perfect.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And Martha Stewart Have a Ball Part 1 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline use Caroline's invite to a Manhattan gala as a means to meet Martha Stewart and present their cupcake business.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And Martha Stewart Have a Ball Part 2 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline use Caroline's invite to a Manhattan gala as a means to meet Martha Stewart and present their cupcake business.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Halloween Party, The (DVS)

Friends

At Monica's Halloween party, Phoebe meets her twin sister's fiance and finds that she is attracted to him.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Stain, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel wants to find her own apartment. Phoebe is ecstatic when Eric dumps Ursula to date her.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Stripper, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel tells her belligerent father that she is pregnant with Ross' child.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Rumor, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica encounters a high-school friend and invites him to Thanksgiving Day dinner.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with Monica's Boots, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler is angry when Monica buys expensive boots. Phoebe tries to get tickets to a Sting concert.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Ross' Step Forward, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross' new girlfriend orders Christmas cards with a photo of them on the cover.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One Where Joey Dates Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel joins Joey for a night out in order to prepare him for a big date.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Chandler Takes a Bath, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica blabs her suspicions when she mistakenly believes Joey is infatuated with Phoebe.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the Secret Closet, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey realizes his intense feelings for Rachel are excluding Ross from the joys of impending fatherhood.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with the Birthing Video, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica prepares a memorable St. Valentine's Day for Chandler with sexy lingerie and X-rated entertainment.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One Where Joey Tells Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey tells Rachel that he is in love with her.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One with the Tea Leaves, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel devises a lie about her unborn child that she hopes will break the silence between her and Joey. Phoebe reads tea leaves and predicts she will soon encounter the man of her dreams.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Hero Sits Next Door, A (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter, jealous of the new neighbors, foils a bank robbery for attention.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

Son Also Draws, The (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois loses $20,000 gambling at the Indian casino.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Peter Peter Caviar Eater (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois' aunt dies and leaves her mansion to the Griffins.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Holy Crap (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter invites his religious father to live with the family.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Decision Reverberation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Raj is worried people won't take him seriously in his own field after publishing a paper that suggests he may have discovered alien life. Leonard wants to be the principal investigator on a plasma physics study.

TV-PG

10:00 PM

Plagiarism Schism, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Kripke has proof that Dr. Pemberton plagiarized his thesis in college, and Sheldon and Amy aren't sure they should turn him in or not. Howard is happily surprised to learn that Bernie wasn't the only waitress at the Cheesecake Factory who had a crush on him back in the day.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Maternal Conclusion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard is pleasantly surprised when Beverly comes to visit and she's genuinely kind to him, until he finds out the real reason she's there. Denise and Stuart overstay their welcome at the Wolowitz house.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Change Constant, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy and Sheldon wait for the news. Howard and Bernadette leave their kids. Leonard and Penny keep a secret.

TV-PG

Friday, Mar 12
11:00 AM

And the Hidden Stash (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max joins Caroline on her visit to a white-collar prison to see her father, Martin Channing, and he encourages them to purchase a particular keepsake at the Channing estate auction.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the Pearl Necklace (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline met Martha Stewart at a gala event and gave her one of their cupcakes to taste, they were thrilled to get a positive response! Now, Max and Caroline attempt to keep the faith that Martha Stewart will call and help support their cupcake business. Meanwhile, Caroline loses a lucky keepsake.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And the Hold-Up (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline show their true colors when the diner gets robbed. Meanwhile, everyone sees a surprising new side of Han.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Cupcake War (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline put their baking skills to the test when they audition to be contestants on the hit cooking show Cupcake Wars.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One in Massapequa, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe brings her annoyingly upbeat boyfriend to the 35th anniversary of Monica and Ross' parents, who urge Ross and pregnant Rachel to pretend to be married.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Joey's Interview, The (DVS)

Friends

When Soap Opera Digest requests an interview, Joey enlists his friends to make sure he does not say anything that could cost him his role.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Baby Shower, The (DVS)

Friends

During her baby shower, Rachel realizes she is unprepared to be a mother and accepts her mother's offer to move in to help with the child.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Cooking Class, The (DVS)

Friends

A food critic blasts Monica's cooking in a newspaper review; a cute saleswoman riles Rachel when she flirts with Ross; Phoebe coaches Chandler for a job interview.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One Where Rachel Is Late, The (DVS)

Friends

Overdue Rachel tries everything to rush the delivery of her baby.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where No One Proposes, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey finds himself engaged to Rachel soon after she delivers her baby girl, while Phoebe assumes Ross is the one who proposed.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One Where Emma Cries, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey seeks forgiveness from Ross, while Rachel tries to quell Emma's incessant crying.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with the Pediatrician, The (DVS)

Friends

Emma's pediatrician drops her as a patient because of Rachel's constant calls.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with the Sharks, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica fears Chandler has a sexual fetish involving sharks.

TV-14

6:30 PM

One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner, The (DVS)

Friends

Famished Phoebe waits for tardy friends to arrive at her birthday dinner.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Haylias (DVS)

American Dad

Stan, unhappy with the decisions Hayley is making for herself, decides to set her up with a proper husband. He gets her to go along by using her "activation word" which was ingrained in her during CIA summer camp visits when she was little. She listens to everything Stan says, but because it takes too long, reverts to a "mind clause" to kill her handler - Stan.

TV-14

7:30 PM

42-Year-Old Virgin (DVS)

American Dad

While playing poker with the guys, Stan is exposed as a virgin, but not in the traditional way - he's never killed anyone. Roger and the guys help Stan bust his killing cherry.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Ride Along (DVS)

A risk-averse second-grade teacher plans on marrying the girl of his dreams but first must accompany his overprotective future brother-in-law, a tough cop, on a ride-along from hell.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Brian in Love (DVS)

Family Guy

A therapist tells Brian his carpet-wetting is the result of his repressed feelings for Lois.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Love Thy Trophy (DVS)

Family Guy

The Griffins and their neighbors build a festival float; waitress Meg schemes to get bigger tips.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Death Is a Bitch (DVS)

Family Guy

Death pays Peter a visit when he claims "deceased" on insurance forms.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Clip Show Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Ride Along (DVS)

A risk-averse second-grade teacher plans on marrying the girl of his dreams but first must accompany his overprotective future brother-in-law, a tough cop, on a ride-along from hell.

TV-14

Saturday, Mar 13
12:30 AM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

7:30 AM

Frogger, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine eats Peterman's cake; Kramer helps George steal an arcade game.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Frogger, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine eats Peterman's cake; Kramer helps George steal an arcade game.

TV-PG

11:00 AM

Wedding Ringer, The (DVS)

A shy groom in need of a best man turns to a gregarious guy who offers groomsmen services.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Foundation, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George is ready to move on, but Susan's parents want to keep her memory alive.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

Ride Along (DVS)

A risk-averse second-grade teacher plans on marrying the girl of his dreams but first must accompany his overprotective future brother-in-law, a tough cop, on a ride-along from hell.

TV-14

2:00 PM

Wedding Ringer, The (DVS)

A shy groom in need of a best man turns to a gregarious guy who offers groomsmen services.

TV-14

3:00 PM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

4:00 PM

Ride Along (DVS)

A risk-averse second-grade teacher plans on marrying the girl of his dreams but first must accompany his overprotective future brother-in-law, a tough cop, on a ride-along from hell.

TV-14

5:00 PM

Avengers: Infinity War (DVS)

As the Avengers and their allies continue to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero, a new danger emerges: Thanos, who threatens the fate of Earth and life itself.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Avengers: Infinity War (DVS)

As the Avengers and their allies continue to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero, a new danger emerges: Thanos, who threatens the fate of Earth and life itself.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Colonization Application, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

There's trouble in paradise when Amy discovers Sheldon signed up for a one-way mission to colonize Mars, and the two get into a dogfight at a pet store. Meanwhile, Leonard makes a very "adult" purchase for Penny.

TV-PG

9:00 PM

Leftover Thermalization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An electrical short thaws the last meal that was cooked by Mrs. Wolowitz, and the gang ponders what to do with it, while Sheldon and Leonard's work is featured in a magazine, but only one receives credit.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

Skywalker Incursion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A speaking engagement at UC Berkeley puts Leonard and Sheldon in a galaxy not too far, far away from their idol George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch, and they considrer dropping by.

TV-PG

10:00 PM

Fortification Implementation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Sheldon and Amy build a blanket fort, they come to a big crossroad in their relationship. And Wolowitz is shocked when a man claiming to be his half-brother he never knew he had shows up at his front door. And, when Penny is invited to appear on Wil Wheaton's podcast, she and Leonard have a huge, on-air argument.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Communication Deterioration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the event of Alien contact, NASA asks Raj to craft a message for the extraterrestrials, and the guys battle over how it should be handled. Meanwhile, Penny must decide between auditioning for a film role or keeping her job in pharmaceutical sales.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Intimacy Acceleration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An experiment designed to make participants fall in love piques Penny and Leonard's interest, so they decide to put it to the test. Meanwhile, Leonard, Amy, Raj and Emily have an encounter with a "zombie".

TV-PG

Sunday, Mar 14
12:00 AM

Leftover Thermalization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An electrical short thaws the last meal that was cooked by Mrs. Wolowitz, and the gang ponders what to do with it, while Sheldon and Leonard's work is featured in a magazine, but only one receives credit.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Fortification Implementation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Sheldon and Amy build a blanket fort, they come to a big crossroad in their relationship. And Wolowitz is shocked when a man claiming to be his half-brother he never knew he had shows up at his front door. And, when Penny is invited to appear on Wil Wheaton's podcast, she and Leonard have a huge, on-air argument.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Communication Deterioration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the event of Alien contact, NASA asks Raj to craft a message for the extraterrestrials, and the guys battle over how it should be handled. Meanwhile, Penny must decide between auditioning for a film role or keeping her job in pharmaceutical sales.

TV-PG

4:00 AM

And the Candy Manwich (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Andy, a cute candy store owner, has eyes for Caroline, but she's too embarrassed to see him after a humiliating experience at his candy store.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Pre-Approved Credit Card (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

A new pre-approved credit card causes strife between Max and Caroline, who have different opinions on what to charge on it. Meanwhile, Earl's estranged son, Darius, arrives in New York with hopes of becoming a stand-up comedian.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Candy Manwich (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Andy, a cute candy store owner, has eyes for Caroline, but she's too embarrassed to see him after a humiliating experience at his candy store.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Three Boys with Wood (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline enlist two Amish boys who are exploring the modern world to build a barn for Chestnut. Meanwhile, Candy Andy discovers Caroline's ex-billionaire identity.

TV-14

1:00 PM

Captain America: Civil War (DVS)

Political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability when the actions of the Avengers lead to collateral damage. The new status quo deeply divides members of the team. Captain America believes superheroes should remain free to defend humanity without government interference. Iron Man sharply disagrees and supports oversight. As the debate escalates into an all-out feud, Black Widow and Hawkeye must pick a side.

TV-14

4:00 PM

Captain America: Civil War (DVS)

Political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability when the actions of the Avengers lead to collateral damage. The new status quo deeply divides members of the team. Captain America believes superheroes should remain free to defend humanity without government interference. Iron Man sharply disagrees and supports oversight. As the debate escalates into an all-out feud, Black Widow and Hawkeye must pick a side.

TV-14

4:15 PM

Avengers: Infinity War (DVS)

As the Avengers and their allies continue to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero, a new danger emerges: Thanos, who threatens the fate of Earth and life itself.

TV-14

7:15 PM

Avengers: Infinity War (DVS)

As the Avengers and their allies continue to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero, a new danger emerges: Thanos, who threatens the fate of Earth and life itself.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Avengers: End Game (DVS)

Five years after Thanos acquired the infinity stones and eliminated half of the universe's population, survivors grieve all that has been lost. The remaining Avengers hatch a risky plan to travel back in time and intercept the stones before Thanos can collect them, facing challenges along the way that will test them as they've never been before.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Avengers: End Game (DVS)

Five years after Thanos acquired the infinity stones and eliminated half of the universe's population, survivors grieve all that has been lost. The remaining Avengers hatch a risky plan to travel back in time and intercept the stones before Thanos can collect them, facing challenges along the way that will test them as they've never been before.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Avengers: End Game (DVS)

Five years after Thanos acquired the infinity stones and eliminated half of the universe's population, survivors grieve all that has been lost. The remaining Avengers hatch a risky plan to travel back in time and intercept the stones before Thanos can collect them, facing challenges along the way that will test them as they've never been before.

TV-14

Monday, Mar 15
2:30 AM

Avengers: End Game (DVS)

Five years after Thanos acquired the infinity stones and eliminated half of the universe's population, survivors grieve all that has been lost. The remaining Avengers hatch a risky plan to travel back in time and intercept the stones before Thanos can collect them, facing challenges along the way that will test them as they've never been before.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Male Nanny, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross ridicules Rachel's choice of a male nanny.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Ross's Inappropriate Song, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Joey find a videotape while checking out Richard's apartment; Ross sings Emma an off-color lullaby.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Rachel's Other Sister, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel has a bone to pick with her self-centered sister on Thanksgiving.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Rachel's Phone Number, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel impulsively gives her telephone number to a handsome guy but worries he will call when Ross is there.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with Christmas in Tulsa, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica fears the worst when she learns Chandler will be spending Christmas in Tulsa working on a deadline with a beautiful co-worker.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel crosses swords with her temporary replacement at the shop; Phoebe wreaks havoc on the set of Joey's soap opera.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with Phoebe's Rats, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica invites Rachel's workplace rival to her birthday party; Joey flirts with Emma's new nanny; Phoebe and Mike take care of a litter of rats.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Monica Sings, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica exults in the applause she receives on karaoke night, unaware that the cheering audience can see through her blouse.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

Surro-Gate (DVS)

American Dad

When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. Although he pretends to be happy, when the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger pull a Howard Hughes and become reclusive after they think Klaus is out to get them.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Most Adequate Christmas Ever, The (DVS)

American Dad

After Stan comes home from another dangerous mission, he finds that his family has decked the halls with boughs of holly and donned themselves with gay apparel, but just not to his satisfaction.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Office Spaceman (DVS)

American Dad

When the CIA initiates an Alien Task Force, a peculiar twist of fate puts Roger in charge of the task force in disguise, who marks Stan as an alien to protect his own identity. Meanwhile Francine comes to grips with being left-handed.

TV-14

6:30 PM

Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold (DVS)

American Dad

After officially being declared dead due to an accident, Stan comes back to life and realizes he dreams of leaving a legacy on the world. He excavates his home in search of Ollie North's Contra-band buried treasure.

TV-14

7:00 PM

Sleeping with the Frenemy (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Tina allows Tammy to spend Spring Break with the Belchers - and even plays Cupid, setting up Tammy with Brett, a boy from out of town. Meanwhile, Gene and Bob enlist the help of Dr. Yap in finding a replacement baby tooth to complete Linda's collection, after Gene loses his own.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

Hurt Soccer, The (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

After forgetting that they signed up Louise for a soccer league, the Belchers must help her prepare to play in the season's last game. With Bob coaching the soccer game, Linda and Gene seize the opportunity to turn the restaurant into a piano bar.

TV-PG

8:00 PM

Cheer Up Sleepy Gene (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Gene gets invited to his first sleepover and is nervous about it, and when things don't go as planned, he realizes he had a right to be. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda record themselves while sleeping to prove which of them snores more.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

Dating Game, The (DVS)

Family Guy

When the Medieval Castle comes up for auction, Peter and the gang try to purchase it for "castle fun". After putting up a "mystery" paper bag containing nine thousand dollars, they end up losing the auction to Mayor West.

TV-14

9:00 PM

It's a Trap Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

The Trilogy comes full circle in this parody of Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Saturated Fat Guy (DVS)

Family Guy

After watching a documentary about the dangers of food, Lois decides to change the family's eating habits to a healthier one. Peter tries quinoa for the first time and his body immediately begins to reject it.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Peter's Lost Youth (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter wins a fantasy weekend for two at Fenway Park in the church raffle. Although Cleveland, Joe and Quagmire all vie for the second spot, Peter decides to take Lois along with him.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Peter Principal, The (DVS)

Family Guy

When Principal Shepard is suspended from James Woods High after a mental breakdown due to his ugly divorce, Peter volunteers to take his place as interim Principal.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Dearly Deported (DVS)

Family Guy

The Griffins go to a waterpark for Lois and Peter's anniversary (his idea), where Chris meets a girl named Isabella and decides to ask her out. She wants to say yes, but she informs Chris that she has two young children.

TV-14

11:30 PM

House Full of Peters, A (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois has a girls' night out with Bonnie and Donna where they decide to prank call their husbands. After Lois's friends ridicule their spouses, Lois decides to pretend to be Peter's long lost daughter.

TV-14

Tuesday, Mar 16
12:00 AM

It's a Trap Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

The Trilogy comes full circle in this parody of Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Wild Women Do (DVS)

American Dad

Jeff is forced to take Francine out for a not-so-wild night on the town. Klaus forces Steve to watch his celebrity impressions.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Finale Part 1, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.

TV-PG

11:00 AM

And the Egg Special (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline cook up a surprising fundraising solution when a potential storefront for Max's Homemade Cupcakes becomes available for rent.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the New Boss (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline hire an intern, Ruth, to help take care of some of the dirty work in preparation of opening their new cupcake shop, Max has trouble with her new managerial role.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And the Big Opening (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline host a grand opening celebration at their new cupcake shop. To show off her success, Max invites her former flame Johnny and her ex-boyfriend Robbie.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Silent Partner (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie is depressed after being swindled by the contractor in charge of building her dream house, so Max offers to make her a silent partner in the cupcake business but Caroline and Sophie have very different visions for the company.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Blind Dates, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey and Phoebe conspire to send Rachel and Ross on disastrous blind dates.

TV-14

1:30 PM

One with the Mugging, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey stumbles upon a way to impress a famous actor during an audition; Ross learns the identity of a long-ago mugger; Chandler accepts an internship at a shoe company.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Boob Job, The (DVS)

Friends

Both Monica and Chandler secretly approach Joey for a loan; Phoebe invites Mike to move in with her; Rachel baby-proofs the apartment.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Memorial Service, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and Chandler trade barbed insults on their alma mater's Web site.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Lottery, The (DVS)

Friends

The gang buys scads of lottery tickets for the multimillion-dollar jackpot.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Rachel's Dream, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's visit to a soap opera set inspires her to dream about Joey; Chandler takes Ross on a weekend getaway after Monica cannot take time off from work.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Soap Opera Party, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross invites an attractive paleontologist to a rooftop Days of Our Lives party being thrown by Joey.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Fertility Test, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler run into an old acquaintance when they secretly go to a fertility clinic; Ross helps Joey woo the same professor he wants to date.

TV-14

5:00 PM

One with the Donor, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler interview unsuspecting candidates, hoping to find the right man to father their baby.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One in Barbados Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One in Barbados Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One Where Ross Is Fine, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross drinks too much alcohol at dinner with Rachel, Joey and Charlie; Frank Jr. cannot cope with his precocious triplets.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Star Trek (DVS)

American Dad

Steve becomes a famous author, and the entire family gets caught up in his celebrity, including Stan, who becomes an unbearable stage parent. After Steve hooks up with an agent, he abandons his family to lead a Cribs lifestyle.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Not Particularly Desperate Housewives (DVS)

American Dad

As Stan continues to dominate the household, Francine finds herself idolizing a group of women who seem to have it all. She tries to impress them and even lies in order to gain acceptance into their group, until she realizes they aren't as perfect as they seem. Meanwhile, loyalties are tested when Stan gets a new best friend.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Rough Trade (DVS)

American Dad

After Stan and Roger have a rough day, they get into a fight that leads to a Freaky Friday-type switcheroo where they get a taste of life in each other's shoes. But after the excitement of a new life stales, they face each other's problems as Roger is under pressure at work and Stan yearns to be needed. The swap gets out of hand as the family starts to crumble.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Finances with Wolves (DVS)

American Dad

Stan gets a hefty bonus at work and uses it on himself, while Francine opens a muffin shop without Stan's approval. Now without a housewife at home, Stan puts Klaus's brain back into a human body. Meanwhile, Steve is convinced he's becoming a werewolf.

TV-14

9:00 PM

King Is Dead, The (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois asks Peter to be the producer of "The King and I.''

TV-14

9:30 PM

I Am Peter Hear Me Roar (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter finds his feminine side when he is sent to a women's retreat for sensitivity training.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Graduation Transmission, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Wolowitz questions his engineering abilities when he and Sheldon can't get a drone to fly. Meanwhile, a canceled flight nearly prevents Leonard from giving the commencement address at his former high school. And Raj pits his parents against each other when his father cuts him off financially.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Maternal Combustion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard and Sheldon's mothers come to town to celebrate their sons getting an award, but the opinionated women engage in an altercation over religion.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Commitment Determination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the Season 8 finale, Leonard and Penny are pressured to set a wedding date by Sheldon, whose relationship with Amy has taken an interesting turn.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Matrimonial Momentum, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Season 9 premiere, Penny has a problem dealing with Leonard's confession about having kissed another woman, while Sheldon is confused about Amy calling a timeout on their relationship.

TV-PG

Wednesday, Mar 17
12:00 AM

Separation Oscillation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

To ease Penny's mind, Leonard pays a visit to the woman he kissed during his expedition to the North Sea, while Sheldon's breakup with Amy leads him to retaliate by shooting a special episode of "Fun with Flags".

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Bachelor Party Corrosion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The guys surprise Leonard with a belated bachelor-party weekend in Mexico, but their plans hit a bump in the road when they get a flat tire on the way. Meanwhile, the girls lean on Penny to tell her unsuspecting family that she and Leonard eloped.

TV-PG

11:00 AM

And the High Holidays (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Desperate for a way to pay their overdue rent, Max and Caroline get involved with a group of sketchy customers willing to pay top dollar for their cupcakes.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the Bear Truth (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

A relaxing getaway for two becomes an awkward vacation for three when Max, Caroline, and Andy spend a weekend together in a cabin in the woods.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And Too Little Sleep (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline enlist the gang from the diner to help them bake throughout the night in order to fulfill a giant cupcake order.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Psychic Shakedown (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

After discovering that Candy Andy closed up his shop following their breakup, Caroline visits a psychic for a reading about her future love life.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with Ross's Tan, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Joey nervously anticipate their first real date; Monica and Phoebe try to avoid an obnoxious friend with a fake British accent; Ross emerges from a tanning booth with a two-toned appearance.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Cake, The (DVS)

Friends

An X-rated cake is delivered to Emma's first birthday party.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel convinces her sister to baby-sit over Ross' protests; Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Ross's Grant, The (DVS)

Friends

When Ross interviews with Charlie's ex-boyfriend for a prized grant, the doctor makes a shocking stipulation; Chandler lies about watching Joey's bizarre audition tape.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Home Study, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler fuss over their apartment as they expect a visit from the adoption worker; Phoebe and Mike opt for a small wedding and donate the extra money to a children's charity.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Late Thanksgiving, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica prepares a Thanksgiving feast for the gang, then becomes enraged when everyone shows up late; Phoebe convinces Rachel to enter Emma in a baby beauty contest.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Birth Mother, The (DVS)

Friends

A prospective birth mother labors under a misconception about Monica and Chandler's respective occupations.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Chandler Gets Caught, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Phoebe spot Chandler getting into a vehicle with a mysterious blond woman.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One Where the Stripper Cries, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey appears as a celebrity contestant on $100,000 Pyramid. Monica and Rachel hire an ungainly stripper for Phoebe's bachelorette party.

TV-14

5:30 PM

One with Phoebe's Wedding, The (DVS)

Friends

A blizzard causes Phoebe and Mike's wedding to spiral out of control; uptight Monica steps in as her friend's wedding planner, then drives everyone crazy.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One Where Joey Speaks French, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler show Erica the sights but also learn their baby's biological father might be an unsavory character. Joey begs Phoebe to teach him how to speak French before an audition.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One with Princess Consuela, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel goes to a job interview at a restaurant and winds up sitting next to her current boss. Joey feels abandoned because Monica and Chandler are leaving.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Choosey Wives Choose Smith (DVS)

American Dad

Stan becomes jealous when he finds out Francine was once engaged to a pilot whose plane crashed, and she seemed to settle for Stan before learning her former fiancé was still alive. Stan and Roger try to track the man down, while Francine must choose between her husband and her lost love.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Escape from Pearl Bailey (DVS)

American Dad

Steve plots revenge against Lisa Silver and the cool kids after Debbie loses her bid to become student council president. But when the cool kids stage a counterattack, will Steve and his friends survive?

TV-14

8:00 PM

Pulling Double Booty (DVS)

American Dad

Hayley's boyfriend, Jeff, breaks up with her. After going on a short rampage through the mall after the break-up, Hayley falls for Stan's body double, Bill, from the CIA. Things take a bizarre twist when the double begins hitting on Francine. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve get their first summer job at a Chinese chicken hatchery.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Phantom of the Telethon (DVS)

American Dad

Congress has cut the CIA torture budget in favor of using that money to help inner city kids learn how to read. The CIA must figure out a new way to raise $1 million to fund their torture program. Stan wants to prove he's an idea man so he struggles to figure out a way to raise the money. Roger mentions to Stan that a telethon would be a great idea. At first Stan dismisses it; but the next day Stan bounds into the house and announces to his family his boss loved his idea of a CIA telethon.

TV-14

9:00 PM

If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin' (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter makes Chris pretend he's dying, in order to save a television program.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Running Mates (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter runs against Lois for a seat on the school board.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Perspiration Implementation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Barry Kripke gives the guys fencing lessons, he makes a point of letting Sheldon know he's interested in dating Amy. Also, Stuart has trouble getting female customers at the Comic Book Store, so Penny, Amy and Bernadette stop by to help out.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Helium Insufficiency, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A helium shortage leads Sheldon and Leonard to do business with a dealer in the black market in order to acquire some of the element for an experiment they need to complete.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Spock Resonance, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon's interview for a "Star Trek" documentary focusing on Spock turns up a shocking revelation about his breakup with Amy. Meanwhile, the Wolowitzes haggle over the remodeling of his family home.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Mystery Date Observation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Leonard, Penny and Bernadette learn that Amy is going out on a dinner date, the trio set out to spy on her and the guy. Meanwhile, Sheldon recruits Raj and Howard to find a woman for him.

TV-PG

Thursday, Mar 18
12:00 AM

Platonic Permutation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Now just friends, Sheldon and Amy spend Thanksgiving at the aquarium; a reluctant Wolowitz volunteers at a soup kitchen with Bernadette, Raj and Emily; and Penny realizes that Leonard knows a bit more about her than he's let on.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Earworm Reverberation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

God only knows what song is constantly playing in Sheldon's head, but it reminds him of Amy and leads to a surprising revelation. Meanwhile, she is back in the dating game.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Bizzaro Jerry, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine's soon-to-be former beau has two friends who resemble George and Kramer.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

March 17, 2021: Guest TBD (DVS)

Conan

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Fluffer (DVS)

New Girl

Nick and Jess address their relationship-without-benefits. Meanwhile, Winston has a lot on his mind besides Shelby. Then, hoping to date a beautiful Republican, Schmidt pretends to be one of presidential candidate Mitt Romney's sons.

TV-14

6:00 AM

See Ya (DVS)

New Girl

When one of the roommates decides to move out of the loft, the gang makes an unexpected trip to the desert, where Winston faces his fear of the dark. Cece and Schmidt's relationship reaches a turning point. Jess and Nick square off with a coyote.

TV-14

6:30 AM

Re-Launch (DVS)

New Girl

Schmidt throws himself a rebranding party at which Jess, recently fired from her teaching job, volunteers to be a shot girl, alongside a very jaded cocktail waitress. Meanwhile, Winston shows a different side of his personality after drinking some of Nick's fruity concoctions, and Cece introduces the gang to her new boyfriend.

TV-14

7:00 AM

Katie (DVS)

New Girl

Mistaken identity abounds as Jess inadvertently captures the attention of a beer delivery guy and then pretends to be someone else when a handsome stranger thinks she is his blind date. Then, a regular at Nick's bar claims to be Nick from the future, and Winston's disapproving mother comes to visit, all the while maintaining her hatred of Schmidt.

TV-14

7:30 AM

Fluffer (DVS)

New Girl

Nick and Jess address their relationship-without-benefits. Meanwhile, Winston has a lot on his mind besides Shelby. Then, hoping to date a beautiful Republican, Schmidt pretends to be one of presidential candidate Mitt Romney's sons.

TV-14

8:00 AM

Neighbors (DVS)

New Girl

When a group of young twenty-something neighbors moves in across the hall, Jess and Schmidt are determined to become friends with them. Meanwhile, Nick enacts a series of pranks on Schmidt to make him think he's getting old.

TV-14

11:00 AM

And Just Plane Magic (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max scores tickets to a music awards show in Los Angeles, she and Caroline end up flying on a private jet with Grammy-nominated rapper 2 Chainz.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the Broken Hip (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline pay a high price for attempting to remove a street performer away from the entry to their cupcake shop.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And Not-So-Sweet Charity (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In danger of losing their cupcake shop, Max and Caroline approach Caroline's rich but callous Aunt Charity for help.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Temporary Distraction (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When the girls take office temp jobs, Caroline tries to climb the corporate ladder and Max finds herself being hit on by the boss.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One Where Estelle Dies, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross tries to win back Rachel's job with her former fashion employer. Phoebe tries to keep Joey from learning about his agent's death; Monica and Chandler make a horrifying discovery.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Rachel's Going Away Party, The (DVS)

Friends

One of the guys becomes offended when Rachel does not give him the same goodbye she gives the others.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

Last One Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

Last One Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One Where Monica Gets a Roommate, The (DVS)

Friends

Six friends in their twenties pursue careers, love and happiness in New York City while relying on each other for support.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Sonogram, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross is stunned to learn his ex-wife is pregnant with their child. Monica's dinner for her overly critical parents is a disaster.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Thumb, The (DVS)

Friends

The group loves Monica's new boyfriend; Chandler resumes smoking; and Phoebe receives a large sum of money unexpectedly.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with George Stephanopoulos, The (DVS)

Friends

While the men attend a hockey game and end up at a hospital, the women spy on President Clinton's top aide, George Stephanopoulos, who lives across the street. Rachel receives her first paycheck.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the East German Laundry Detergent, The (DVS)

Friends

While Phoebe and Chandler end their respective romantic relationships, Rachel and Ross do laundry together on their first date.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with the Butt, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey gets a film role as a stand-in for Al Pacino's butt. Ross tries to be less conservative. Chandler has an affair with a married woman.

TV-14

Friday, Mar 19
1:00 AM

Chimdale (DVS)

American Dad

While Steve is showering after gym class, it is pointed out to him that he has scoliosis! Stan takes him to the doctor, who confirms the ugly truth, and gives him a huge back brace to wear to correct the curvature. Steve is absolutely mortified, and refuses to go to school. Stan persuades him into going by pointing out it's not the outside that matters, but the inside.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Stan Time (DVS)

American Dad

Every night Stan comes home from work exhausted and is faced with the task of spending time with his family and then going straight to bed, eliminating the chance of any alone time. In ten years, he still hasn't been able to get through one chapter of a book. A co-worker slips him some pills that allow him to stay up all night and still feel rested. He jumps at the opportunity, and uses his extra time to do all of the things he hasn't had time to do. He finishes his book, teaches himself the piano and shoots hoops. He feels great. When Francine uncovers his late-night activities and what he's taking in order to make it happen, she demands her own pills.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Live and Let Fry (DVS)

American Dad

Stan turns to smuggling when trans fat is banned from Langley Falls. But when Inspector Turlington of the Langley Falls police becomes suspicious of Stan, Stan recruits Steve into his illegal enterprise. Now Steve must find a way to keep the trans fat flowing while under Turlington's watch. Meanwhile, Roger helps Klaus claim an inheritance.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Fifteen Minutes of Shame (DVS)

Family Guy

Meg exposes her family on a talk show.

TV-14

11:00 AM

And the Big Hole (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

After Han fires Caroline for insulting his diner, Max tries to coax Caroline into apologizing.

TV-14

11:30 AM

And the Worst Selfie Ever (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline panics when she develops a rash after a night with her ex-boyfriend, Andy.

TV-14

12:00 PM

And the Extra Work (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline are invited to be extras on a popular TV show shooting a scene in Han's diner, but when Caroline catches the director's eye, he offers her an actual role with strings attached.

TV-14

12:30 PM

And the Tip Slip (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline's father, Martin Channing, asks Caroline to go on a talk show to defend him when a former employee threatens to defame him in a tell-all book.

TV-14

Saturday, Mar 20
12:00 AM

Jack's Back (DVS)

American Dad

When Stan's con-man dad Jack resurfaces in prison awaiting trial for a crime he did not commit, Steve gets Stan to let Jack stay with them under house arrest. Steve takes the opportunity to reconcile the two, but Stan is convinced that Jack is just using them to escape prison. Meanwhile, Hayley interns at Roger's attic bar.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Bar Mitzvah Shuffle (DVS)

American Dad

When snobby rich kid Etan steals Steve's girlfriend Debbie, Steve concocts a scheme to get revenge. Aided by Roger, Toshi, and Barry, Steve plots to rob Etan's Bar Mitzvah and get back his girlfriend. But when the plan goes awry and Snot takes the blame, Steve must decide whether to tell the truth and clear Snot's name or remain silent and get back Debbie. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine pitch an idea to a cell phone company.

TV-14

1:00 AM

Wife Insurance (DVS)

American Dad

Stan reveals to Francine that, in the case she should die, he has a backup wife. Enraged with Stan, Francine takes Jim, one of Stan's CIA buddies, as her backup husband. Jealous, Stan breaks it off with his backup and tells Jim to break it off with Francine. However, Jim confesses that he is in love with Francine and attempts to kill Stan. Now Stan must stop Jim from killing him and taking Francine. Meanwhile Wheels and the Legman (Steve and Roger's detective personae) are on the case trying to find Hayley's lost iPod Shuffle.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Set It Off (DVS)

After being fired from her job as a bank teller, Frankie begins working at a janitorial service with her friends Tisean, a single mother; Cleo, a boisterous lesbian; and Stony, who is dealing with the recent death of her brother. The women are struggling with their finances, so they decide to start robbing banks. At first the group is successful, but they soon attract the attention of an obsessive detective.

TV-14

2:00 AM

Let's Go to the Hop (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter infiltrates Quahog High School as a new student; guest voice Gregg Allman.

TV-14

10:00 AM

Star is Born, A (DVS)

Seasoned musician Jackson Maine discovers -- and falls in love with -- struggling artist Ally. She has just about given up on her dream to make it big as a singer until Jackson coaxes her into the spotlight. But even as Ally's career takes off, the personal side of their relationship is breaking down, as Jackson fights an ongoing battle with his own internal demons.

TV-14

12:00 PM

Little Kicks, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer's friend forces Jerry to perform an illegal activity.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Package, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer tries to scam the U.S. Postal Service to get a refund for Jerry's stereo.

TV-PG